..Ma LiFe mYsTerY.. [--oRbiD'z--]

2010-01-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

did i forgot to blog an entry? HAHA!

sorry baby, was tooooo busy with work. well, everyone is busy, i also busyy mahhh. haha. was seriously busy with the Atrium sale. :) finally, tomorrow gonna be my OFF day after working for the whole 7 days straight. pheww!

Atrium was GREAT! the bunch of people are seriously crazy and fun! :) and we managed to hit 100%! :) :) the ka-ching baby!!! but again, its not easy because we kept repeating the same thing to thousands over people. and there we go, the sorethroat just need to come back. gahhhh! its like only one and half week back my throat gets better but now, tadddaaaaaaahhh i'm with it, like AGAIN. :(

not only that, i've corns on my heel. and its fcuking annoying. bought the plaster and it keeps peeling off. the plaster is expensive hoh! 3.75 bucks for 4 bloody pieces! and now i'm left with 2 pieces only. i believe i need to change again tomorrow cause its peeking off again. irritating or what?.....

gahhh, i think i need some sleep already. just finished chatting with cousin. sumpah kita dua irritating! hahahahahahha.

nite earth-lings. :)

2010-01-01T14:42:00.003+08:00

actual fact ; i'm pissed with the wishing of HAPPY NEW YEAR.

i know, weird. but c'mon laaa, basically New Year doesn't mean anything. its just another day/year. so what's big issue of going countdown and stuff? bahhh. people/customers have been asking, "so are you working? where are you heeding later? " seriously, i feel like slapping them upside down. and what's the need of going party? tell mee purleasseee?

as what i told my colleague; "so what if its New Year? its not like on 1st Jan 2010 you become Miss World or what! you'll be doing the same routine like 31st December 2009? TRUE? *roll eyes*

but oh well, I thanked GOD for the New Year, the very least the world still survive strong for 2009 and make it to 2010. meaning i manage to 'escape' in seeing the world falls apart, if you know what i meant. hehs. :)

lighter note ;
the TWOs went for midnight movie without me. well, i can't afford to waste any time in catching up my sleep. hehs. but we manage to have a meetup for a short while over at Coffee Beans. daymm, i miss them oh so much. LOTS LOTS LOTS of stories to be exchanged, but jyeahh, time din permit us. nevermind, we'll meet up soon kaesss. :)))

i came across a profile of a friend saying something(s) about relatinoshiT issues. and surprisingly, that particular someone comment on it. haha! i don't know whether i should Laugh my ass out or just smirk to the comment. i personally think that that particular someone should have just keep the comment to himself. i know i'm mean. but oh well.... i need to say this, "simpan sua nasihat kau tu yeee cik abang oi. nampak KELAKAR sangat kalau anda bernasihat. hahs!" *whistling*

talking about New Year, i think i din bother to look forward because there's NOTHING for me to look at. :)

chows sweetlove.

2009-12-30T20:57:00.003+08:00

lil' miss red light finally came!! after being late for 5 days. yeay?
but now, i'm stuck with some pains from the cramps. bahhhsss. :(

and now i'm totally addicted to BOOKS. gahhhh! i've read 3 malay novels and now, i've just borrowed 2 English novels. One is all about LOVE, (hehs!) and the other was a heart-wrenching story. can't wait! can't wait! hehehe. :)

anywayss, an early shoutout since i'm gonna be on shift the whole day ;

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY to dearest GirlFriend , NUR HAZREEN! (and jyahhh, to Hazrul too!)
well wishes to you Darling, be it in Health and Wealth. and of course, your Love. :) walaupun hati ku kurang berkenan, but deep down I'll always pray for your Love life to bloom and not become like mine. cause i don't have the heart to see you facing one, like mine. :)

so yuhhooo! Enjoy your 21st DARLING! LOVVVVVEEE and MISSSSSS YA SOOOOO MUCH!!!

toodles!

2009-12-29T21:57:00.002+08:00

hoho!

dengan penuh semangat dan jiwa raga, i telah menukar skin and update blog! kononnya ada semangat baru ahh. padahal, padahal! haha.

sesungguhnya, i tau takda yang baca but tidak mengapa........ hehs.

so, its been nearly 2 months i've not update. been seriously BUSY(!!) since it was christmas seasons. all those full day working hours for nearly 2 weeks just tire me out . gahhhh! and up next is Atrium Sales. 7 days straight. -.- nevermind, think about the ka-ching baby!

i've not been meeting my BestFs for nearly 2 months? and i miss them. :( i miss those bitching sessions we usually have once a week. ok, the very least i'm still in contact with miss Shayida. nur hazreen? madangg...... kalau i tak message dia, agaknya kalau aku mampus pun dia tak tau. kan gerl? hehs.

anyway, a bit late thou but jyeahh ;

congrats cousin-ku yang paling selambaaaa....

bila aku nya turn ehhh? wahhhhhhh! ;p

selamat malam. :)

past, present, future.

2009-11-02T19:43:00.002+08:00

i am STUPID and IDIOTIC enough to read back some of my past entries.

to tell you the truth, i swear, i AM TRULY affected by it.

goshhh. you won't know how lousy i felt right now. how further can my pathethic-ness can be reached? unlimited. mampos! i am totally indulged with my past right now. all those memories keep zapping through my mind. every seconds, minutes, hours and so on. pathethic. pathethic. i'm such a great loser towards love. -_____-

the present is totally not much of a help. cause obviously i am nothing, prolly? i don't know. it just doesn't feel right. it's not what i felt few years back. ok, maybe i did feel it but not over the other end. and that's what makes me feel its not the same. TAD TOO DIFFERENT. wayyyyyy farrrr different. so, here's one of the reason for me to compare and look back instead of looking forward. what the............

i am totally clueless about the future. i couldnt see even a single thing. not even a mist. everything is totally so "DANG". tembok. -.- i don't know how my future gonna be. be it, work or personal thing. howwwww? i am at a complete lost.

i feel so stupid. damn fcuking stupid.

gahhh. i feel much worst then what i blogged. jahanam abes!

2009-10-24T23:38:00.003+08:00

"ibarat terjumpa pintu, hilang kuncinya"

i am feeling seriously disturbed this few days, emotionally.

it feels exactly the same as the previous feelings that i'd encountered.

why must this just need to happen to me again, and again and again.

i am seriously SICK, no, FUCKING SICK aboout all this.

cause all this shit just need to be healed by ME.

what the fcuk.

ahhh! eat shit and die la! fcuk! fcuk! fcuk!

bosan ;

2009-10-18T19:30:00.002+08:00

i can't blog what i really felt.

but the most important things was ;

i'm just sick with the current situation ; EVERYTHING.

words

2009-10-12T14:26:00.002+08:00

I don't want to have to see you happy.

I can't even bare to see you smile.

Now-a-days I can't look in your eyes

Well I can but it takes a while to show

Told a lot of white lies to hide it all.

But they're beginning to break me down,

Though I promise it's over now.

I'm gone.

I don't blame you at all.

'Cause after all the things that you did for me

I Got beaten by temptation

I'm gone.

Girl you're better off alone.

I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

I'm gone.

Try my best to keep it all together.

Tryna take it back to where we were.

Never been to good at keeping secrets,

I'll Give you reasons but for what it's worth

Lemme go.

What the hell would make you look at me the same?

Used to say "We're unbreakable."

But I just went & changed it all.

See if I told you?

Could you live with that?

If I told you?

Could you live with that?

If I told you,

I couldn't live with that! I couldn't live with that!

Noooo!

I'd rather give you no excuses at all.

I'm gone.

I don't blame you at all.

'Cause after all the things that you did for me

Got beaten by temptation

I'm gone.

Girl you're better off alone.

I don't want you to see, the truth in me.

You gave everything & honestly it's every fault of mine.

To beg you for forgiveness just seems wrong.

See, leaving you is one thing

But you've got to realize:

Some things are best unspoken

So please don't ask me why!

Ohhhh I'm gone.

I don't blame you at all.

'Cause after all the things that you did for me

Got beaten by temptation

I'm gone.

Girl you're better off alone.

I don't want you to see, the truth in me

That's why

I'm gone

Byeee

I'm gone.

"someone asked me to listen to this song. and true enough after reading those words, it can just bring tears to my eyes. "

schedule ;

2009-10-07T17:05:00.005+08:00

& so,

house warming cum birthday mini celebration- done

dinner and dance TBS - done

and i'm left with the secondary mates outing this Saturday 10 Oct 2009 then its back to my daily routine of work(s). pffft. time passes so damn fast.

been having a whole lot of OFF days as per requested. :) but to get back to work, kinda lazy. haha. but then, a woman gotta to do what she needs to do baby! haha. money don't come rolling down the alley. shucks.

so, turning 21 doesn't make any difference in my life. cause by right the key of freedom is in my hands. but now, i'm stuck in the by left wayy. ahahaha. ayah still treat us like small kiddos. haha. padahal yang 1st umur dah boleh jadi mak org wherelse yang 2nd da gatal nak kawin.. pffft. aku jugak, chill chill ke baybeh! LOL!

and besides that, the Dinner and Dance for TBS wasn't that GALA. but the people are pretty! :) you can see different people with different attitude and dressing. haha. even the Nyahs are daym gorgeous. :)

till now, i don't understand how people can drink wine or whatsoever. bau je dah busuk apatah lagi rasa. haiyoooo. puas hati minum Ice cream soda ke.. sedap sikit tekak. cheh! :)

and lastly, thank you for the super long ride home. :) much much appreciated walaupun pinggang nie dah berdengung! hahaha.

the conversation ;

2009-10-01T18:07:00.003+08:00

i'd a conversation with you over msn.

asking you all sorts of ridiculous question, and in return, getting a hurtful answers.

but oh well, since you're happy in a way, i think i should let it be. as what i mentioned to you, i don't wanna be that PARTICULAR SOMEONE that i've spit before. no baby, i won't lick it. hehs.

it's weird when a friend told me about it, but before she informed, i've already predicted it. i don't really feel some kind of hurt. i mean, yes, i'm hurt in a way but not as hurtful as previous.

is that the sign of moving on and leaving everything to FATE?

i hope so. *close eyes, prays harder*

i hope this feeling of strength stays forever.

as what someone mentioned, SMELL THE FUTURE WHOLEHEARTEDLY.

i wished.

pray for me.

good luck.

surat cintaku.

2009-09-30T10:55:00.002+08:00

suatu detik, ketika wujudnya suatu perasaan aneh yang menyapa hatiku, aku menjadi ragu.
ragu akan diriku, ragu akan kesetiaanku, erti kata lain ragu dengan segalanya.
tetapi apakan daya, setiap kali diri membayangi wajahmu, makin menerbit perasaan aneh itu.
semakin mendalam perasaan hati ini hingga mampu membuat diriku tersenyum bahagia.

akhirnya, ku sambut dirimu dengan hati yang penuh persoalan.
ku cuba jua menyemai benih Cinta dengan kesabaran walaupun pelbagai dugaan menerpa.
alasanku?
HANYA KAU YANG AKU CINTA.
kita belayar diatas kapal cinta yang penuh dengan badai tawa tangis.
kita ucap kalimah cinta setiap detik dan saat.
indah sungguh hari yang berlau sehingga membuat diriku terlena.

sehingga suatu ketika, aku mula sedar akan dirimu yang semkain menjauh.
jauh dari ku.
namun, aku tetap sabar, mengharap segalanya akan pulih kembali.
menanti seperti menunggu bulan jatuh ke riba.

akhirnya, segalanya berakhir sudah.
kau lepaskan diriku tanpa alasan teguh.
membiarkan aku terkontang kanting dengan perasaan hati.
apa salahku, apa dosaku?

mudah benar kau melepaskan segalanya.
mana perginya jani sumpah setiamu?
mana hilangnya detik mains bersama dahulu?
lupakah kau akan semua itu?
dan pantaskah kau membunuhku sebegitu rupa?

kini, tertutup sudah lembaran cinta kita.
ku tunggu dengan penuh harapan akan dirimu.
namun, segalanya telah hancur berkecai.
tiada yang tahu betapa terluka hati ini.

kini, mampukah engkau memberikan aku jawapan?

"apa mampu aku bukakan pintu hati ini jika segala perasaan dan isi hati yang perit ini masih belum mampu aku benamkan?"

"apa mampu aku menerima cinta insan yang lain setelah aku mendapat luka yang separah ini?"

"dan apakah aku mampu menipu insan yang lain semata mata ingin membahagiakan luaran hati ini sedangkan inti pati hati masih menyayangi dirimu?"

-ceritaku-

bayu kerinduan ;

2009-09-24T19:22:00.003+08:00

kerinduan yang menerjah di dalam hati ini
mengetuk ngetuk dari setiap sudut
meraung lantang untuk keluar
apakan daya tidak termampu aku lakukan

senyaplah jiwa tenanglah hati
janganlah lagi kau robekkan hati ini

hati yang perit terluka

dan perasaan yang tercalar

tidak usah ditambah dengan kerinduan yang mendalam

tears ;

2009-09-23T11:26:00.003+08:00

it falls again, last night.

novela cintaku ;

2009-09-08T15:33:00.002+08:00

kedinginan malam menambah seribu kesunyian di lubuk hati.. terketar bibirku setiap detik aku menyebut namamu.. betapa kerinduan ini terlalu mendalam.. sehingga nafas bisa terhenti walaupun nadi masih mampu berdenyut..

cinta tersimpan hanya untukmu.. hati terkunci dalam hatimu.. tidak terdaya bagiku melepaskan diri ini dari hatimu setelah kunci itu kau lontarkan.. kerna disitulah hatiku berseru..

perginya dirimu merentap jiwaku.. hati menangis bertalu talu.. berderai lah segala yang telah ku bina.. tertutup sudah pintu hatiku.. untuk cinta yang tak mungkin lagi dapatku pandu.. sebak dihati menyelubungi diri.. diri yang tak mungkin bangkit kembali.. robeknya hati tidak terperi.. perginya engkau tiada kembali.. kerana cintamu sudah terhenti...

ceriteraku.

some things ;

2009-09-02T10:57:00.003+08:00

hey. today's entry might be a lil off. so yeah, you wanna read, go ahead. if not, well you can scram if you want too. oh well!

off today but received messages from work asking me some stuffs which is damn freaking obvious. sickening. can't simply have any peace during my off day. bahhs. seriously, talking about work, just pissed me off in away.

things have been okay with me, exclude work. life haven't been that good but as it is, its obviously better than WORST, just like in 2008. super fcuked up year. -.-

i must say, i am proud of myself for able to move forward somehow in a way. 1 year 4 months isn't a short period. it tooks all the fcuking courage i've got. still, some things just couldn't change. like how i still have him in my mind every day. sighh. nop, i'm no longer waiting as like before. i find it stupid cause why bother when i can have someone else around? no sha, not mR A. obviously. hah! but there's nothing wrong in having a lil hope on what i wished since i'm still single. this part is about Mr I ehh. :) gahhh. no, this is not contradicting. you guys won't understand. tsk.

life have looked up a bit. but i've decided to look down cause i'm still terrified to look up with all the hopes. i don't wanna shout, "aku da tak dengan ____ lagi" followed by extreme tears and fall in the kitchen towards Shasha, with her makeup remover all over her face, anymore. hehs. silly reaction i must say, but it happened. and that shocked Shasha a lot cause she never saw me in that state for 20 years of my life. well that happens when you fall in love. :)

i just want someone. someone who can look after me. someone who treats me fairly as how he treated his family and friends. i don't mind being the very last one in his list, as long he appreciate me and sense my existence. i just need someone who i can laugh, joke, bitch and cry with. i just want someone who could understand what i really feel. i just need someone who show some respect towards my pride and dignity. i just want someone who look extremely adorable in my own eyes, not others. and lastly, someone who have eyes only on me.

is it too much to ask? i know i'm not some kind of supergirl or wonderwoman who thinks i'm fcuking complete. but the least i did not ask for someone way beyond the sky.

if what i'm asking is too much GOD, then i no longer have any say to it.

strained ;

2009-08-31T11:26:00.002+08:00

dammit!

now i can just feel all those strained muscle. seriously, i am so freaking lazy to work already. i mean like, if i didn't bother to think about the ka-ching, i would have request off for a week or two. HAHA. nahh uh, i'm lazy because of this tiredness which have crept in my muscles. seriously, i missed my 'chiong' behaviour. i mean working non stop and get a damn fcuking good pay out of it. but now, gaaaahhhh! somemore, Hari Raya coming. wahh lauu wehhhhhh! please pray for my 'chiong-ness' back. i am so in need of that. -___-

like i've said, work have been entirely irritating. doing the 630am shift is like killing me damn bad. a total of 5 days in 630am shift, can simply make me look damn freaking haggard, sooner or later. (now? in the process. wtf?!) i duno how many times i've yawned in an hour. HAHAHA. even my customer says i look tired. bahhhs. so much of thinking about others that i've fcuking neglect my ownself. totally hate this Libra Trait. (only this Trait ok Shayida! on certain time aja! please take note. haha)

retail was pretty okay laa actually. only that i feel a lil fcuked up maybe due to the 630am shift that is already killing me. and i need to continue working over at the retail shop. gahhh. i just need to work with Umi, and i believe i can still enjoy working there. cause i feel that my interest is going down the drain bit by bit. -.-

i think i talked too much about work and all the vulgarities. pfft.

sesungguhnya ehh, aku berpuasa. istighfar!! LOL!

ok, need to read my books then Off to work at 4. sighhh.

chow baby!

what the hell ;

2009-08-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

WHAT THE HELL?!! now i know what went wrong about my rashes. bahhh. well, at least now i know ONE bloody reason for it. stupid bedbugs. you bite me, i kill you. :) kau tunggu hari bangkit nanti ahh, aku report ahh pat ALLAH SWT pasal kau sebab telan darah aku sampai melampau lampau! chet!!

fasting was totally great. i must admit i did say some vulgarities, but its reduced! LOL! macam understand. :) but was pretty tiring due to my 2 jobs. ohh well, i can still manage the hunger ; not the thirst. LOL! bayangkan time afternoon, terus kau teringat air sejuk yang ber-ais! fuuuhhhhh! sedap baiii! hehs.

actually i'm out of words. LOL! think i shall heed the bed. need some good rest since i've been working so hard. cheh! hahaha.

chow baby.

ahhh, i miss him again and again. :(

sick ;

2009-08-20T18:04:00.000+08:00

down with slight fever and flu. plus rashes.

now, i'm down with rashes, flu, sore throat, cough and slight fever. -.-

but i still come to work despite the great headache thrashing my head. some people, just a minor sickness, starts to complain here and there and never show up. *roll eyes* nahh, i'm not backstabbing others, but if I can come despite all my sickness, why can't them? totally unreasonable and selfish, i must say. whatever.

was extremely touched with Umi. :) she knew i was really sick when she heard a difference in my voice while talking to her. and so, she ask me whether i've seen the doctor and persuade me to go again later on. and around 12pm, she come to cafe and bought for me a HOT LONGAN SOUP. g0sh, that's so sweet. (even momma never did that to me before, if i remember clearly.) haha. thanks Umi. :) sweet motherly & granny-ly love. oh, she reminds me a few times not to take any cold drinks. hahaha. wish momma was a s caring as Umi. bahhhhs.

nothing much. fasting month coming up. looking forward for it. :))

& why am i starting to miss him again? damn. i miss his smiles.

2009-08-12T01:52:00.005+08:00

a lil' too late for some updates, but ohh well... here we go baby!

a short trip over to Tampines to celebrate lil' Husainy (gahhh! among all names!) birthday party. how adorable, he's turning 1 years old on 9 Aug 2009. sucha small lil' kiddo. simply simple but cute in his own antiques. haha. i like how the way he is, i mean how small he is and how he just do his own things. well, i must say i'm TOTALLY not close to him. hehes. but he's just adorable in my eyes. LOL! how could not that be? see this picture?

tak ker macam mintak kena gigit dengan aku. hahaha! adorable lil' baby! :))

haaaa! this 3 lil sweets are my nephews yang sumpah dorang tak kenal aku! hahaha! well, cannot say anything maahhh, they're at Tampines. and we're at Jurong bahhh! so, its like twice or thrice we meet each other in a year. ok lahh, tunggu when they are big enuff to recognise thier Aunties at Jurong ehkk. SOON eh kanak2 budu. LOL! ;)

haaaaaaahaaaaa! you're asking who is their Favourite Aunty among the cousin? i'll show you!

TAADAAA!

mai-tin-tang hoh aunty! LOL! this is their trueeeeeeeeeeee blood gila punya aunty kepada kanak2 budu itu. makcik yang amat selenger tapi BEST! LOL! this girl ahh, damn funny one laaa. baik punya kepala. kalau layan dia, abes ahhh pipi kembang semangkuk, macam Aku. LOL! qoutes for the day ; MAI TIN TANG!

ida: cik yem! blood pressure tinggi gila sey.
uncle: ehh? ada? ADA kan?
me: abehhh, anggek ahh ada blood pressure! LOL!
ida: ahh tu ahh. LOL! dia bleh ckp, "ADA KAN?"

LOL! ok, only US know what we joke about. LOL! mai tin tang abes ahh!

after much picture taking, we took a cab and get back to jurong for a small gathering over at Eim house. bbq baby! :) oh me? i just sit and eat. lol. i ate a lot of salad! sumpah sedap! hahahaha. not much fun going in there but its super grest to know about my cousin which PROLLY get back to her ex. awwwwww~ so sweeeet!

sleep over at Nannny house and the next day i need to work. bahhhhh! bosan tauuuuu!

ok dahh, actually aku da ngantok. da naik berair mata aku noe. LOL!. choooowwww~ sambung besok! ;)

moon ;

2009-08-09T00:07:00.000+08:00

i've always make sure i'll look up and stare at the dark sky for a moment to search for 2 things, the Moon and the Stars, every time i went home at night. prolly, this got me addicted during 'those days'. but it seems that i can't shoo-ed it away. hehs. it's just nice to look up and see those stuffs. sometimes, it makes me smile. i don't know why, maybe just being appreciative to GODs' Creation?

tonight, i saw the moon. but in a different tone. the usual was dark-yellowish. but tonight, it was Orange. and believe me, its totally weird. i can't believe that i kept asking myself WHY is the moon in that form, all the way through my journey home. the feeling that i got upon seeing the moon, is very weird too. it just makes me sad and scared to see the moon in that form. and once i'm home, i asked Ayah. and he mentioned the moon is just sick due to pollution, MAYBE. and he mentioned, not to be scared of it. you know why i'm scared? i thought the world is going to end. & i'm not ready for it. :(

enough about the sick moon, let's blog about what i really wanna blog since yesterday night.

remember about my previous entries on Child Sex Trafficking? yeahhh, that one. heyy guys! we've started selling those "Soft Hands Kind Hearts Hand Cream" for only $19.90. yeahh, it might seem expensive but well, why not? for good purposes? i mean like you donate 19 bucks to get a great hand cream. i must say, a win-win situation. hah! by the way, this hand cream is superbly great cause it is not oily at all. and it contain Angelica Extract plus Community Trade Olive Oil. nahh uhhh, not forcing you readers but just wanna let you guys know. and if you're interested, you can just drop by any of the TBS retailers to grab one. *winks*

talking about this, just wanna inform you readers about an incident which happen yesterday. well, being in a retail line, you need to SELL. but for TBS, we believe in selling things not by profits. ok, prolly we do think about profits but solely our mission is to help others. :) so, as we are having this campaign on Stop Child Sex Trafficking, the staffs are needed to close this campaign on every customers. but for me, i opt to close on someone who's willing to listen. and so, there this one customer, a guy. let's call him Mr G. he's my customer but i didn't talk to him about the campaighn because personally i think he's abit yada-yada. so, hile waiting for his change, me colleague decides to approach him about the campaign by giving him a brochure to read on. and here's the conversation that YOU SHOULD READ ;

Rachel: so sir, would you like to help us with some fund-raising item for our campaign on Child Sex Trafficking?
Mr G: no, no thanks.
rachel: oh ok. i'll enclosed for you a brochure on our campaign for you to read on.
Mr G: no need laa.
rachel: i'll just put it inside the bag for you.
mr G: aiya, you put inside also later i throw one.
rachel: you should read it, its all about kids being kidnapped and transported out.
mr G: thats their parents responsibility.
rachel: ahh sir, this is about them being kidnapped and being forced to do sex at the age of 8.
mr G: yahhh, thats the responsibilty of the parents, not us.
Yasmin: (pissed) yes sir, but they are being kidnapped, meaning in just a split second they are gone eventhough the parents is besides them.
mr G: well, then its too bad.
me, yasmin, rachel, shida: (PISSED)

you see? how ignorance he can be! he can even mentioned, "THEN IT'S TOO BAD". can someone please have the courtesy to give him one tight slap? what if it happen to his child? and when he report it to the police and the police would just reply, "Ohhhh ok. then too bad lorrrr!" like what the fuck? prolly he might be thinking Singapore is safe but, you'll never know what can happen. Singapore is already a destination for those traffickers to traffick out those kiddos. i know i shan't say all this, but i really hope, one fine day when this happen to him, he'll realise and think back on what he'd just say on 7th August 2009 Friday. God, i dunno where had he put his senses...... goshhh, so cruel. this is actually those traffickers way of thinking, i must say. *shakes head* dunia dunia......

so readers, i'm not forcing you guys on anything. but please don't ignore our or this Campaign! this is very very important. just think, what if this happened to your own siblings, dearest friends or relatives? (selisih malaikat 44). your ignorance is their ticket to grab more. so, NEVER IGNORE this. know or get some knowledge on this and please be careful. not only kids, they can traffick everyone or anyone. so, please feel free to go down to any TBS to get those brochure and it will be extremely lovely and great if you could show us your support by purchasing those Hand Creams. thank you so much lovelies! :)

and in a short note ;

"HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY DEAREST COUNTRY, SINGAPORE!!!"
i am sure proud to be a singaporean. always and never regret to be born here. a nice and peaceful country, as compared to others. :) may we'll stay peace till the end of the world. :)

and ;

"Happy 19th Birthday Mr S!" (sssshhh)
hehs, i know you're not reading my blog, OBVIOUSLY. but oh well, just a remembrance? *winks*

ohhh tu lil Hussainy too! Happy 1-year smally kiddo!

till here then!

"STOP CHILD SEX TRAFFICKING!"

visits ;

2009-08-05T00:23:00.002+08:00

gonna visit the doctor later. a different one. hope this one would be better. i see no difference in my rashes on the previous medication. maybe those medication is already immune to my body system, like how the previous previous doctor medication. gahhh! and this time round i'm going to a slightly expensive one. kalau tak baik jugak, sah sah aku pergi jumpa bomoh! LOL!

i'm seriously dragging my feet to work nowadays. be it the F&B line or the Retail one. maybe its just the mooooood thingy. i hope i'll recover soon. hehs. its been a looong time since i work with cuzzy. we're always in a 1st and 3rd shift. :( so, cannot tell a lot of stories.

but anyhooos, those 2 b0ys of cafe are damn annoying laa. hahaha. so much of the NTUC vouchers. check2 NTUC envelop with WRITTEN $10 voucher. laugh-out-loud.

yesterday night convo in SMS;

amirul: weii, besok jangan lupa amik NTUC voucher kau.
Me: huh? for?
amirul: incentive laa. ernnee bagi.
me: oh okays.

early morning convo in SMS (earlier on) ;

amirul: selamat pagi. da amik vouchernya?
me: voucher abes.
amirul: Kak Nor kena lagi rabak sak.
me: korang memang.
amirul: yelah aku lahh. thanks.
me: aku cakap KORANG, bermaksud 2 orang bukan seorang.
amirul : yelah.

just now ;

amirul: wani kau ok tak? takkan gurau sikit pon tak bleh.
me: huh? aku ok je.
amirul: ok great.
me: btw, voucher tadi aku da buat beli cokolat.
amirul: wahhh. kau nie wani. cubalah simpan. kan boleh pakai buat raya. orang kasi budak2 duit raya, kau kasi voucher. hahaha
me: ah tu laa. da beli baru teringat boleh pakai untuk raya. bagi BUDAK2 macam kau ke brian ke.
amirul: wahh, sindiran yang amat tajam menyocok hatiku. takpelahh wani lain kali dapat jangan boros k.
wani: ehh takpe, ada belen. nanti aku UP kan kau nya to 50 bucks voucher ehhk.
amirul: thanks ehh. dahh STOP -IT.

LOL!. tulahh nak kena kan akak konon! see the leg baby! ahahahhahhaa. tak bagus punya budak2 kecik. sindili tarak garuk itu bawah, banyak gatal. hahahahahahahahahahahah!

ok dahhh. sebelom i hyper, baik i chalo beteh dulu! hehehe.

chow baby!

that Sunday ;

2009-08-03T11:39:00.024+08:00

finally....

everything went on smoothly. Alhamdullillah. :)

kak, for your info, i worries MORE than you if you didn't turned out as a Pretty 'Bride-to-be', since i'm the one who dolled you up. LOL! but Thank God, your hair and make up turn out well, although it might not be as GAH as maybe you might wanted it to be. hahaha. all thanks to my new make-up kit, MAC FAFI palette. Hehs.

the journey ;

the family function is totally Awesome la! hahaha. well, majority of the members are Ayahs' side, like usual, cause they live nearer to us. really appreciate Mamas' side from the East to come down all the way to West to watch the function. :)

Mama woke up earrrly to set up the dishes like Mee Soto, bergedil, paru and others. followed up by Noi, helping Mama out with all those stuffs. me and Shasha? we manage the front side of the function like cleaning here and there. actually more on Shasha laa. aku? gua rilek one korner sarapan thosai dulu beb! hahahahahahahaha.

and after much settlement on the front side, we went out to buy some stuffs like ice and flowers. and not forgetting meeting up with Cik Ezi who came in early to help us out. so sweet of her to petik bontot taugeh! hahahaha. when we reached home, Lyn and Bf, Am have reached too. siang seyy member, naik mengamuk Mama pasal belom abis preparation. ahahahaha. and at last, Mama cooked for them Maggi Goreng since Cik Ezi loves Mamas' maggi gorng. hahaha. Lyn didn't stay long cause she and Bf wanted to go home early to escape all those 'question'. hahaha. So, thanks LYN and AM for attending! :) ohh, thanks for the Brownies too darling! :)

around 5, started to bathe again and doll myself up first. hehehe. by the time i'm satisfied with my makeup, shasha is all ready to be dolled up. so, started out with blow-drying her hair yang sesungguhnya irritating-nak-mampus. hahaha.

PS!!!: maaf laa kalau muka i ke muka kakak i yang tak senonoh tu ehkk. lagi2 muka aku, tak bleh accept. HAHAHAHAHA. kakak, please CROP or blurred my face ok for your own blog entry later on. THANKS AHH! :)

didn't took any picture for the makeup session cause we can already hear people coming in. and the next, we heard a knock on the door and taaa-daaaa! Tashima arrived. hahaha. so he helped us with some picture taking here and there. some pictures yang sungguh tak perlu seperti ini ;

HAHAHA! tak bagus kan perangai dorang? LOL. but still, at the end of the day, this picture(s) make us laugh like orang gila. hahahahaha.

back to story ;

dishes has been served and some started to dig in already. FULL HOUSE. haha. you won't know how suffocated my home is. but we really appreciate the crowd. hahaha.

and we managed to take the ROcK-ROcK (nenek-ku) grandchildren yang manis2. :)

hahaha. full squad! ehh no laaa. actually got 2 more, but they didn't tag along. but, the 6-rangers (Me, Shasha, Noi, Eim, Pipi, Nana) is complete. :) hahaha. nie semua dulu geng dari kecik especially with Eim. hahaha. aaaaa~~ooo~~~cara mu dan caraku! HAHAHAHAH.

and after the sembahyang jemaah, the guy side arrived. :) lambat ehk! ahahaha.

and after that, they 'argue' about the date of marriage. and.... aku penat ahh dengar. then hoh, i turned my head to look at my sis, korang tau dia tgh buat apa? dia tgh jalan sana jalan sini. apa lagi, aku marah laa dia. "shasha! duduk diam2 laa!" hahahahahha. dengan facial espression tau. wakakakakakakakakakaka.

then, the sarung of cincin and picture taking dijalankan.... cheh!

ok after that, semua hurray hurray makan laa. hahahaha. actually i dah malas nak panjangkan cerita. LOL! but THANKS to all the people (laa! macam aku plak yang tunang ehh) hahaha.

in conclusion ;

so kak, i hope you're happy on 2nd August 2009. and we somehow did make this fucntion come out well in a way or so. hehehe. :)) and i believe that no matter what decision you make, the family will support eventhough you know how your dad and mom nagged like @%#^$@%. hehs.

and so, be happpppyyy when we're still around you, especially ME! :)) your consequences-garang yet adorable sister! huahuahua.

ps: i just realised, there's not much pic from Mamas' side. :(

till here then. i'll let the owner write her stroy in her own blog. :))

question for that day?

"iza, noi, bila lagi?" -Belom lagi, calon da lari! (HAHAHA)

alert ;

2009-08-02T00:07:00.000+08:00

gaaaaaarrrrrhhhhhhh! can someone puhhhh-llleeeee-aaassseee tell me where i can find a good doctor for my rashes?? nahh, i don't want Skin Centre. :( i'm telling you, my rashes is seriously getting worst. its like during my primary school time. :'( i need a new medication. i don't know what's wrong with it this time round. but i really can't stand it anymore. i'm getting all those going-to-be-blue-black patches everywhere and all those kudis have come out due to the scratching. please, please. tell me if you know any aye. :'( thanks.

on a happier note ;
its Sunday! :)) ahhhh~ the day i've been looking forward. hehs. not the event, but the foooooods baby! :))

saturday was awesomely tiring. GOD! i'm all alone from opening till 1130am, on a SATURDAY morning! thank GOD i can still handle the crowd. only some fcuking bastard who got no patience really pissed me badly. i think some customers really don't have basic manners like WAIT PATIENTLY. ehh c'mon la! they saw me doing other customers' drink and they just have to give me this irritating bastard kia punya look. what the fcukk?! like hello, what do you think i'm doing? flirting ehk? kaussss, sumpahh ahh mata letak kat bontot siol. perangai mintak ampun laa siaa. grrrrrr. if i can bite them, i'll make sure i'll bite at their eyes. padan muka! bodoh! bodoh! hmph!

and the retail part? as usual, those MIC just have to make my day, WORST. main hentam bebual bahasa dorang je. fikir nie negeri dia kape. dah lahh sangat RUDE, busuk plak tu. dasar tak mandi betol. urrrgghhhh! should have just diminish those RUDE MIC from here. menjatuhkan saham Singapura je dengan manners dorang. dahlahhh pengotor, mendatangkan penyakit punya bangsa. arggghh!

see laaa, got so much anger. apa taknya pimple ngan rashes semua keluar?! hehs, padahal takda kena mengena ehkk. LOL! but seriously ahhh, why on EARTH this bastards exist in this beautiful world?

such a disgrace.

spring cleaning ;

2009-07-29T15:58:00.001+08:00

"..i say i'm sorry mama, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to make you cry cause' tonight i'm cleaning out my closet.."

hehs. what can you expect when you starts sprrrinnng cleaning with the 1st Sis? LAUGHTER. haha. si gumok tu perangai betolnya tak bagus. LOL! i'm cleaning but there she is doing her own stuff on the spot, in the middle of the mess. irritating pun ada. haha. sekarang da penat. dia melepak atas katil. -.-

threw a whole LOT of stuffs like books, notes, bags and some other things. fuhh! habuknya, takyah cakap. suspect, aku boleh kena gatal2 balik. pffft. but anyhoos, the room feels 'lighter' in a way. i believe it won't last till raya! LOL! dengan perangai 3 dara yang hentam bocai, lagi lagi AKU. hehs. :) oohh ohh~ saw 2 letters in my Billabong wallet (gift form Elfe), written by Chan Wei Siong, my ex-scandal! LOL! so funny laa. i keep laughing while reading it. chim siaaa. those timessss.............. hahahha. seriously, i've got LOTS of memories in my collection. hahaha. ala2 jalan kenangan laahh gitu. hehs. i even kept the Quicksilver Paper Bag, given by You-Know-Who during my 1st birthday with him. bahhhs.

noi: kalau kau tunjuk mama, mesti dia nak tu paper bag.
me: NO! mana boleh! ni kenangan. aku nak simpan. hehs.

LOL! i nearly threw the "Puma" watch away cause the batt has died on me. but 1st sis told me not to throw it away, and so i've kept it for the jalan kenangan sort of thingy. wahhh! hahahah. :) what?! ya lahh, i wanted to forgo all those memories laa but somethings cannot throw. ohhh don't worry, YOU don't have to tell HIM that i still GILA2 kan HIM macam perempuan tak malu. cause i believe in what GOD have written for me. prolly, he's not the best one for me though i might still think he's the best? hahaha. contradicting, aku tau. fact for now, he's just my PAST. :)

and why am i talking about him? bahhhs. back to current issues (hehs), things hasn't been so goooood this few days for me. sigh. i just need to adapt back to my previous life. sucky ehh? gahhhhhh! sucky ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. everything just seems to be so weird, no, VERY WEIRD and unbearable. i need to put up a strong front since i'm the one who makes this decison. gaahh. takpelahhh. aku sedar sapa lahh diriku ini. hahahahahahahha. chimmmmm! LOL! well, pray hard everything gonna sail back as usual. i just miss the friendship more than anything. :) don't worry i won't hurt the same species as me. :)))

urrrm, till here then. my tummy is growling. grrrr. gonna meet 2nd sis laterr at JPT. bahhh. hahahaha. takda tempat lain! :) mana tau can see Mr S. ssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh. LOL! perangai setooop it sakk. ok, chow baby!

toodles.

"...another day has gone, and i'm still all alone, how could this be, when you're not here with me.."

losing end ;

2009-07-28T14:33:00.002+08:00

the ignorance is just so unbearable. period.

i'm addicted to You're Not Alone. the lyrics are just so meaningful, Very meaningful. i didn't know MJ produce this nice lyrics and melody. ok, i mean i getta hear that song not so often during those daysss. you know, his songs is more to that 'moonwalk' songs. and sesungguhnya, aku tak minat lagu sebegitu. and why am i talking about MJ? bahss. whatever it is, that songs ROCK. \o/

looking forward for this sunday. hope everything went well. :) i shan't say about what till the owner blog about it. hehs. shhhhh. :)

till here. gonna watch some tutorial.

feelings ;

2009-07-24T17:08:00.002+08:00

oh gosh! i am very sure that something is not right with me and with what i feel. gahh! can i scrap away that feeling? hahaha. its nice if it is being reciprocate, but terribly SUCKS if nothing happened. -.- please pray for me that something good will happen can? lol. :) i really mean, something GOOD okays. hehs. *pray hard* laugh-out-loud! i miss that feeling a lot. hehs.

& what if the things i wished above not going to happen?
i'll just shove all that feelings away bit by bit as day pass. :)

i'll keep it a secret for now. no one knows about it. not my BestFriends. not my Friends. not my cousin. nt even my dearest sister(s).

only ME. :)

on the other note ;
man! its so freaking difficult to do a French Twist! grrrrr... and how am i going to help my Sis on that? brrrr. persevere, baby! i believe i can do it before 2nd aug 2009. no, not believe! i CAN do it. haha. self motivation laa gitu. lol. alright, next tutorial pleaseeeeee......

bye!

child sex ;

2009-07-20T20:28:00.004+08:00

went for my Training at Holland Village.

STOP SEX TRAFFICKING OF YOUNG CHILDREN.

my heart felt extremely sad when i gotta know about this issue. yeahh, for you and for me, it might not be a BIG deal. but after my Training, i felt it IS a BIG deal. its all about small kids (eventhough i dislike kids) being forced to do sex at such a tender age. how could that NOT be a Big Deal? young kiddos at the age of 3 or 4? serving all those chikopeks? urghh. and this is happening all around the world. child trafficking. i seriously don't know where is their conscious? i mean, the kids are NOT a product for you to trade happily ever after. they are human! and they have their rights. who are you to snatch and throw all their human rights? this kids don't even know anything. they are being brainwashed by this syndicate(s). urrrghhh. i don't know why all this people exists. they should just be tarnished from this mother Earth man!

urghh. talking about this just remind me of that small baby being put inside a dog caged, to be transferred to other countries. i remember how her eyes, her innocent look, peeping out of the cage. not knowing that she's gonna be transported out and when her age turning 3 or 4, she would be a child prostitute. Ya ALLAH SWT.

may JUSTICE be here one fine day. *tears*

sidetrack;

queueing up.

me: i'll take three of that.
__ : (smiles)
(taking out my $$, and waited)
__ : u need any carrier?
me: ohh, nahh.
__ : u seems familiar...
me: huh?
__ : (smiles) u seems familiar.
me: ohh. haha i think you saw me at ___ before.
__ : ohh you worked there?
me: yeahh. i'm working there and _____ . (smiles)
__ : ohh, so you're still schooling?
me: nop.
__ : ouhh, then you work as a full timer?
me: nop, both jobs as a partimer aja.
__ : (smiles) then what's your age? 20? (handing over my things)
me: i'm 21. thanks anyway. (smiles)
__ : (smiles)

&& that kept me smiling all the way the moment i turn my back and walked away. i think some people might be thinking i'm Gila. LOL!

who, you asked?

hehs, hush hush baby. :) shasha, shut your mouth and don't TAG anything. :)

till here. :)

exchanged sms ;

2009-07-16T15:52:00.002+08:00

*beep*

__: alo, ur wani rite? i'm ____ .
me: ok, tell me straight forward, where didcha get my num?

(no reply)

me: kenapa? taknak jawab? hehs.

(no reply)

me: alright i'll be nice. hi ____, yes i am wanee. can you please tell me where did ya get my num. sila la reply. terima kasih ye.

(no reply, and i can't be bothered)

1150pm ;

__: sorry for the late reply. i can't remember where i got ur num. but can we be friends?

next morning ;

me: hmm, awak ni typical malay boys ehh. you know like, "ehh kau ada num pompan? tolakk ahh". hehs. find a new pick up line ye. :) btw, if awak da remember mana awak dapat num saya, baru awak inform ehh. terima kasih.

__: hi, ok if i remember i'll tell you. so we can be friends right?

me: hmm, till you remember where you got my number, then i'll consider. sorryla if awak ingat saya mananya bagus sampai nak consider2, but i'm not. cuma saya ni paling pantang campur menyampah kalau orang sesuka hati je amik or tolak number saya sembarang.

__: hehe, pandai ehh awak. oklahh, saya dapat num awak from my cousin. but she don't know anything cause she borrow me her phone.

me: sapa cousin awak?

__: from _____. please jangan bilang dia. nanti she get mad at me.

me: hahs! ur lucky that i didn't keep her num. but sorryla i'm attached and tal suka melayan orang yang tak dikenali.

__: bedek ahh.

me: betol. btw i think you know me in a way cause ______________ .

__: ____??

me: :)

__: what a small world. so what are you doing?

ignore.

__: sort. abeh tak reply. haha

THE END.

hahs. i won't comment much, in case some people might know who i'm talking about. *sniggers*

sidetrack ;
ouhhhh my gooooooood! my rashes is getting worst! i'm having those 'lovebites' patches/bruise on my legs and hands. ppffft. it is so ugly LORRRRR. cannot wear mini skirts already laaa. LOL! if its not getting any better, gonna visit the doctor once i got my pay man! cannot tahan laaa, so fuglyyyy! bahhhhs. :(

date ;

2009-07-15T20:05:00.002+08:00

OBSESSED was FANTABULOUS. :)

nice move Beyonce. sickening Lisa.

&& i've got a great date watching that movie too!

so, i've found a new company to watch a movie now.

who you asked?

i've date myself after nearly 21-years old. :)

attack ;

2009-07-14T23:47:00.002+08:00

gaaaahhhhhh~!!!! -_____-

my rashes attack is killing me insanely. i don't know what actually happened that triggers all this red spots itchiness all over my body. was it the crab that i've eaten 2-3 weeks back or was it the ususal routine of monthly rashes? was a bit confused thou' cause after visiting the doctor, 2 days after all my rashes gets worst. nahh, i don't think its about the medicine casue she gave me the same one. tskk.

latest updates ;
currently, Kak Nor is facing the same problem as me. RASHES. and she mentioned to me about draculas (malay version ehh) thingy. ok, i'll translate in malay. macam kena sembur or saliva nya benda2 nie ahh since i've always go home at night. well.......... it does make sense in a way cause its weird when this rashes starts after i went to see my doctor. i mean like, everytime after i visit the doctor, its gets better in a jiffy. but this time round, hmmmmm. and when i asked Umi about this, she mentioned somehow the same thing too. cause my rashes is a bit weird. no, i don't mean there's something sticking out from my rashes laa. its like after i scratched it won't go away and somehow it leave that blue-black sort of effect. then it will itched again. hmmmmmmmmmm...

well, Dad took for me and Shasha some 'holy water' from this Ustaz. well, really hopes it works for us. ouhh, Shasha issue is a different thing from mine. but i don't wanna blog about it. hahs. pleeeeeeeeassssssseeeeeeeeeeee curreeeeeeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeee. cause its fcuking irritating laa sia........ pffffffffffft.

now now, every single thang is killing me. from work to relationships to personal thingy to daily life and now, to SKIN. what the fcuk man. -.-'

ouh shida, u mentioned about someone out there MIGHT be reading my blog too eyy? seriously, pergi jahanam ahh. aku peduli apa siol! hahs! kau nak sindir aku ke nak bebual pasal aku ke, sikit pon aku tak kuasa nak layan.. aku pon dun wish to acknowledge kau. so, kalau jumpa pat luar, buat2 tak kenal sudah lahh ehh. baik yang perempuan, dan juga yang jantan. :)

chows!

busy ;

2009-07-10T16:05:00.002+08:00

extremely busy. that's why NO updates. :)

well, a LOT of things happen. and A LOT of things is running on my mind. bahs.

alright let's start with the JPT ATRIUM. been working 7 days (more?) for the whole stretch of the days. its either when i'm off from Cafe, i'll be at BS or vice versa. i'm so sure my body gonna ache, real soon. the atrium was FUN! hahaha. those Mak-Nyahs jokes are like a big HAHA. great laugh with them man! ouhhh! actually we din hit the target, failed by 2K. but i guess Belle and Carol manage to appeal since we only got 8 wagon. and yes! Carol just informed me that they let us get the ka-ching commission! hehehe, so i've earned *calculate with the fingers* errrm, secret. hehe. well, enough for me to save. :) by the way, talked to Belle about converting but jyeahhhh, i'm still thinking thou'. grrrrr.....

work, as in CAFE, is pretty much changing every now and then. its just way too different. i miss the whole experience when i 1st started there. but oh well, time pass and things change. just hope we'll be as one like last time. :) well, we can't avoid some issues eyyy? hehs.
working with the new Cafe manager is extremely BETTER then the previous one. Loreann, please be BETTER. hahaha. cleaned up tjose shelving and cupboard with her. haa! i can't wait for the tables and chairs to be changed. mcm nak dekat nazak khazanah khazanah pat cafe tu. LOL!

alright. need to do some stuffs like, SLEEP? lol. nahh, just wanna tame my tak senonoh nails later. chiiooowwwww baby!

things to be done:
delete the EX from Facebook. (checked)
ignore some people. (in the process)
forget all this issues. (UNDONE)

hehs.

moving on. as i said, whatever happens, happens. and that's what i've expected things to be. i'm sorry cause i kept forcing you. but i think it's better that way. you've lose me, i don't want you to lose her. its difficult when we are both unsure. and so, i decided to take my leave. i can never denied what i felt inside but i guess this is the way i hoped for. i've always asked GOD to show me something, and maybe this? jyeahhh, prolly we're meant just to be friends. i believe she can love you more than i do. i hope i didn't hurt you further. our memories are just as great as friends. i've spent extremely GREAT time with you for the past 3 months. thank you for bringing those smiles back even for a minute. and for now, i shall take my leave bit by bit cause i know it HURTS badly for your partner to know you have a best-girl-friend by your side. :) i know you've been wanting to read up my blog, but NO. hehs. just for the sake of writing, take good care of her. she loves you more than herself. she's just like me when i'm with the Ex.

and Ayah, you're one of the reason for all the things happened to me now. all my decision made is 80% because of you. i'm sorry cause i blame you. you're just way too selfish, Ayah. but still, i won't have the heart to hurt you cause i could find any guy, but not any DAD and i understand you want the best for me. nevermind, i'll let go of this. the very least, i'm the one who'll need to go through all this, not you.

forget it. move on.

lost of words ;

2009-07-01T12:09:00.002+08:00

really.

the only way to release all those pain ;
cry to sleep and bite my ownself.

i know, its pretty weird. but oh well, at least i felt better, much.

and something(s) just need to add to those heartpain. and with that, the bite is much more intense. sometimes, i hope my hand would just bleed. so that others could understand how i felt now.

i think my slight depression is starting soon. and whenever all this happen, it would always involved ~~BOYS~~ JERKS.

plus my dad.

fcuked.

heart-ache ;

2009-06-28T00:25:00.002+08:00

previous entry ; i was so damn delighted and happy like some lil' kids getting some kind of sweets or gifts.

but at the end of every happiness, there will always be ME, who will feel all damn fcuked about every~~thing~~SHIT..
1st. - read SOMEONE entry, mentioning the Ex name, going movie together.
2nd. - view the Ex FB and read some cheecky comments with a GIRL, by which is his soon-to-be-GF.

i know, like what the fuck with me? its OVER wani, O-V-E-R. pfffft. i'll try to get OVER it, like again.

nie part, aku besar nya menyesal bila terserempak dia. menyesakkan kepala otak ngan dada aku aje. nangbueytinang abes.

super sidetrack ; -.-

dinner with Shayida Norfini at McD(-.-!!) was extremely full of juicy stories exchanged. i know she misses me. LOL! seriously, i miss lepak-ing with the both of you ever since one is busy with work, while the other, work n bf. -.- HAHA! but anyho0s, so many stories and secrets revealed. ahahaa. shida, kau bilang orang, putus persahabatan ehkkk! HMPH! LOL! ok, next karaoke will be on....................... LOL! book a date now laaaa purleeeasssse. and yah, if the other BestF is reading this, oi minahhh, lupa kawan paaaa? tau lahh balak hang da nak masok, tapi bagi2 la masa ngn kami kami nie semua. kita masih wujud cik piahh oiiii! :)) aku miss kau laa cucu ramli sarip! lol.

ouhh anyway, this is the 2nd time i won a facial hamper. LOL! the first was in my secondary school days. got myself a FOLLOW ME or GINVERA hamper from MANJA. and now, i've got myself a 100 bucks GARNIER hamper from HER WORLD. LOL! well, that's what we call LUCKY draw. LOL!. now, now, can anyone tell me where is GENTING LANE? *scratchs head*

till here. toodles.

p/s: i've learnt a new word from Fanah. nabey chak er er. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bulan kata, dia rindu bintang. dia suruh bintang cepat cepat naik ke langit.

that bump ;

2009-06-26T17:39:00.004+08:00

alright, you guys won't know how SEXCITED i am to bump into someone that i've waited and waited after so long. :))))

how delighted, how speechless and i don't know what other words to use in bumping into you. even the colleague mentioned, "wani, first time aku nampak kau happy gila.." :) yeahh, you won't know how much i've missed him. how i've tried soVERY hard to push everything away, and that very day 25th June 2009, Thursday, i've finally could release 50% of what i feel for the past 1 year 2 months.

your smile which makes me melt, your laugh, your voice.... ouhh GOD, songs to my ear. how i wished ever i got the chance to hear all that every each day, but i know, it won't happened. i just feel like stopping the time in the world when i bump into you. making sure i've all the time to be with you, staring at you, smelling that after-smoke scent...

THANK YOU ALLAH SWT, for giving me the chance to bump into that ever so dearest boyy, Ibrahim Hussine. i know you would never be back in my life, but bumping into you, makes 25th June 2009 a memorable day for me after so much of pain i went through.

now, i miss him. gosh.

sidetrack ;
sumpah aku tak tau what's up dengan kau. bila tanya, cakap tu lahh, ni lahhh. apa sak yang kau nak? cakap je laa. tkyah nak fikir fikir, nak dolak dalik. kecoh ahh. aku nak cabot, kau tak bagi. puas aku cabot dulu, senang pe cerita. jangan tamak ahh boyyy, skrg lu main dengan 2, last last nanti lu rugi. tu part, pandai pandai lu ahh ubat luka lu sendiri k. :))

sucky-ish ;

2009-06-24T15:34:00.002+08:00

ahh, whatever the word is, i can't describe what and how i feel NOW, right NOW. at this blue seat, infront of the screen. despite the extremely cooling air from the wind and rain, it doesn't makes me feel better, even for a single bit. shucks.

i AM really depressed in not having any proper j0b at this age, 21 bloody years old. c'mon, even a 19-years old girl could grab that admin job but why couldn't ME? ok honey, i know, rezeki masing masing. but what the hell with some criteria needed to apply for the job? urgh. sickening son of some mother fcuking vagina! fuck! fuck! fuck! argggghh!

and to add to those depression moments, i'm seriously pissed off with people who fcuking think they can work so damn nicely but what the hell?! if you wanna talk about me behind my back, then as pleased cause i know, i've done what i think i should do. rather than YOU, keeps nagging but not a single shit done. ehh, what the fcuk laa ehkk.

re-shufflement? put me there, and you won't see me again. oh baby, i meant my words.

alright i am feeling really sucky.

Ya ALLAH SWT, bless me with patience, please. bring back my inner peace. gain me my strength back. i needed it so much, please.

i wanna be my old-self back ;
the girl who just shut her life from outside world.
the girl who'll pray and asked GOD for her LOVE to come back.
the girl who'll cry and cry every single night.
the girl who'll just work non stop just to forget about her present,
and by the end of the day, cries quietly for her past.

i miss that girl ; weird.

kriteria bodoh ;

2009-06-24T11:07:00.002+08:00

urrgggghhh!

sickening websites, sickening newspapers, sickening companies and fcuking sickening criterias!

semua mcm KNNCCB la!

sad feet ;

2009-06-17T01:01:00.002+08:00

Bishan Atrium is killing me although i've only worked for 2 whole days! my feet hurts like there's no tomorrow and the pain from my head is like shouting for help. and the best part!! i can't even sleep. so now, here i am passing the time with blogging and chatting. -.-

nonetheless, i've made a few Friends over that side. :) like Katrina, a 17-year old gerek babe which 85% look like the Ex, ex. get it? LOL! the Ex...EX? like my Ex, Ex? ahahahaha. but of course, Katrina is different, in some way i guess. LOL! not only her, there's a lot more. extremely great bunch of PASSIONATE people! wahhh!

next up, JPT! wuuhhhuuu!!! catch me LIVE at JPT! wahhh gitu laaa, ala ala pr0m0te! hahahaha. Kak Siti's going to be there for 4 days! Yiiiihaaaa!!! and next, she's making sure i'm over at her side so we can go makan together. LOL!. i miss her. well, actually i'm msn-ing with her now. hahhaha. talking about 'some' issues. and honestly, we're laughing out loud msn-ing each other. i wanna cut n paste our conversation, but tkpelah, takot some people know who we're talking about. but its fcuking funny! ok, i don't care, i still miss her. period.

was online-ing with the deep-inside-i-still-love-you b0y, for awhile. cause he's busy, busy with DOWNLOADING GAMES. like what the fcuk? he never change. haha. well, ask him few questions like how come Kak Syg no longer have her usual Friday breakfast with Hubby. LOL! i miss him. :(

and, about the other issue? geeeeez, i'm not so sure over and about everything. it left me with a whole lot of question marks. contradicting? maybe. you'll know how hard it is when you're in my sh0e. you don't know what you want, you don't know what others want, and you don't even know what's happening around some particular person. maybe she's right. i'm not open to some things. well, actually most of the things. or maybe its just me, being ME, thinking over some things which is not imp0rtant? or maybe, there's actually nothing to think about?

see, i'm making things difficult for myself. because i wanna get away. i'm finding all sorts of things or reasons which can lead me to losing a friend. when actually, somehow i know what's my answer to all those question marks. i wanna answer them, but i kept having s0me corrections to it, if you understand what it means. but how am i going to get away without having to leave anything behind? i can't. unless i could find a reason to escape.

and i need to find it soon before i start to feel the same feeling 1 year back. i can't face that again, cause its way too hurtful.

all i can say to her ;
"i can't cause he still stays deep inside my heart.
& i won't want to remove him from his throne.
biar yang baru ada diingatan setiap masa, tetapi yang lama akan tetap kekal didalam hati.

horse kepang ;

2009-06-13T22:43:00.004+08:00

was on my way home from work. walking at the path which brings peaceful-ness in me when i'm distracted by the "ting-tong-ting-tong" gamelan. and i'm reminded by myself that there's going to be a 'show' in the later part of the day. pffft. i thought it's over by the time i'm going home, but the 'ting-tong-ting-tong' show was like from afternoon till now. (time checked: 11pm)

was walking happily with earpiece stucks in my ear, listening to Uji Rashid & Hail Amir songs which is soooo feeling when i heard the 'ting-t0ng' gamelan. and i was like, -___-'. so, i walked as usual and when i'm reaching my blk, i take a peep and saw some of them 'dancing' away. and added to that, one of the B0YS went astray by which i thought he was OK, maybe taking his rest for awhile since none of the 'penjaga' was straining him. so, OK lah. but then, when i turn and look at his face, i saw his eyes was like wandering around suspiciously. and i was like, "ok, ni part tak kelakar. sah2 tengah bi0l. ehh asal perempuan tu tak jaga dis sakkk??!" i was totally panick laa sey. hahahaha. then after which one of the girls started to call him and pull him away. i totally avoid eye contact man! tak pasal2 nanti member ik0t aku. ishh! no way! hahaha. aku paranoid laa siol! *ketawa sampai tergolek-golek tapi sumpah tak klakar ehh* -.-

seriously, i don't really like this kind of thing. kinda spooky la. tapi yang sebenarnya aku suka laa tgk, cuma takot aku tersampuk gitu, feeling laa kan. huahuahuha. maybe i shall wait f0t Noi video since she's so semangat to watch it with her friends. LOL!

so, the movie Ghost of Girlfriend Past was extremely AWWWWW. it's a nice movie! go catch it yaaaa! :)) thank you Yana for the greeeat outing. although its much much fun (i believe) with Kak Siti, nonetheless i enjoy our 1st outing very much. i'm soooo gonna miss you alot Minah 2! LOL! may you succeed in your 'lovely' career aye. :)) and btw, you owe me a ride, baby! hahahaha. *winks*

& thank you for the willingness to waste that $$ and makes your feet tired; together with me. :)

misses ;

2009-06-12T11:06:00.002+08:00

i did a test on "What type of kisser are you?" from Facebook. and the answer is just so true! LOL.

You are a shy kisser ;

You love to kiss, but only when you feel comfortable with it. It mwans that you need to know the other person better (usually a couple of dates) and you rarely take initiative with the first kiss. However, you have plenty of intensity to give in return once you are caught in the moment!

and this reminded me of someone. ouh geeez, how i missed him extremely much. looking through his pictures in Facebook with all his antiques can still make me smile, reminding me of how he will react and say it.

time passed so fast that actually he's done serving the nation. still remember those days when he just started with his 'book in, book out' things. we will meet on one of the weekends, under my blk just to listen to his exciting stories and to laugh our heads off. or we'll just meet to tell how much we missed each other. awww..

but things started to change. and that's it.

damn, i missed him so much. he's still half the soul of my life, the boy that i adore, the man that i love, the friend that i treasure, and still the adorable funny guy in my heart.
no one can ever ever replaced you eventhough you did shit to my extremely pure love.

you're still my dearest babybo0, yes YOU, ibrahim hussine.
i miss you, dearest.

sidetrack ;
meeting Yana for movie and lunch date. weeeee~ too bad, Kak Siti cannot make it. i miss her and i miss working with her, very muchhhh! :(

ok, gonna bathe (0oops!) and get ready.

chow!

confused ;

2009-06-11T15:36:00.003+08:00

i don't know whether this is the right thing or not. i'm as lost as you are. what do you want and what do i want? its totally 2 seperate question with a different answers. this is what i hate when it happened.

i've lost the calmness that i've craved for. i've lost every balance of my emotions again. i don't wish to fall, that's why i kept pulling away. but the force is way too strong that i kept falling back bit by bit.

i just wanna make a stand for myself. but it might hurt. how?

i'm lying if i mentioned, there's totally NOTHING to what i'm facing right now.

i'm just as confused as you readers are.

some might understand what i'm blogging about, some might not. let this be Hush, Hush. :)

a quote ;

2009-06-10T13:52:00.003+08:00

"When you love someone, and you love them with your heart, it never disappears when you're apart. And when you love someone and you've done all you can do, you set them free, and if that love was true.... when you love someone it will all come back to you…"

Forget Paris: Movie Love Quotes

-i wished it can be true.

sidetrack ;
i no longer care if some people are unhappy with me. cause i care too much about them but they don't bother to care about me. wtf.

chow.

journey ;

2009-06-08T21:19:00.002+08:00

that long journey ;

with all that laughter, pushing, perspiring and blisters, i still enjoy it even our feet hurts like WOAAAA! hahaha.

thank you for the tiring walk to and fro. *winks*

& the long journey for my 'grandmom' have ended today, 8 June 09. after so much misery she went through, i thanked GOD for taking her away. no, not because of heartless, but the very least she's n0 longer suffering from all those hurt and pain.

Ya ALLAH SWT, semoga Engkau mencucuri rahmat ke atasnya dan mengampunkan segala dosa dosanya. dan semoga Engkau memberi kekuatan kepada suaminya dalam menempuh dugaan sehebat ini. dan semoga Kau pertemukan si Ibu dan si Anak semula di alam lain dan memberi ketenangan kepada si Bapa dalam mengharungi segalanya. Al-Fatihah.

changes ;

2009-06-08T01:58:00.003+08:00

something(s) have been disturbing my mind lately. i'm not sure what actually happened.

i've tried my best to shrug it off, but all those questions keep asking me again and again. i don't know. my mind is not clear. i'm not sure of myself and i'm not sure bout' all this. gaaahhh! i hate this feeling man.

i knew somethings have change pretty good, especially in me. things like missing, thinking and crying. but i can't lie, cause deep down inside, when i asked myself this,

"now, how about him?"

my only answer is, "i still love him. and he is still the one who stays in here."

sometimes i wished it wasn't You, but him who cares so much about me. sometimes i wished it wasn't You, but him who makes me laugh. sometimes i wished it wasn't You, but him who pacify me when i'm angry. and i've always wished that he is there with me like how You've been there for me.

but i need to snap back to reality. cause it was You, who cares so much about me, who makes me laugh and You, who pacify me when i'm angry. not him.

thank you for being there for me, every now and then, and making me feel appreciated even for a minute. much much appreciated.

but somethings just takes a longer time to change.

2009-05-21T16:08:00.002+08:00

seriously, i don't know what's wr0ng with me.

i'm just c0nfuse whether its for REAL or vice versa. i must say, you managed to put back all those lil' shattered pieces t0gether. but am i in any position to fall for you? i wanna backed away, giving you the chance for others. but everything have started and i couldn't see any closing to the opening.

the only way is to hurt you and myself. but the thought of losing makes me crazy.

and the only thing that i knew clearly is ;
you, make me fall in love again.

amaciam? HAHHAHAH. k0rang mesti ingat I dah fall in lupp ehkk? LOL!.
ok, i'm bored, actually. -.-
LAME pe akuuuuuuuuu..... -________________-'

dead ;

2009-05-20T18:27:00.002+08:00

may i just ann0unce that...................

*drum rolls*

my BLOG is DEAD. -.-

i've got nothing much to updates. where is myy ability to blog a looooongggggg ennttrrryyyy?

pfft.

colours, shine

2009-05-15T20:40:00.003+08:00

rainb0w,

would you stay and always add varieties of colours to my life..

moon,

would you stay and shine whenever i'm alone in the darkness..

cause i've come to realise,

without rainb0w & m0on,

my life would be insanely disturb.

& just to let you know.

sunshine,

would always give you the warmth when you're cold.

and stars,

would always stay with moon, to brighten up the sky.

unless came the day, when the rain starts to p0ur,

that is when everything is seperated.

and if it is a lucky day,

sunshine will shine, and rainbows will form.

and throu' the night,

stars and mo0n would shine together again.

ahhhh~

metaph0r.

MIA ;

2009-05-10T09:14:00.002+08:00

ahhhh cchhh0ooo000!

LOL! sorry for not updating. well, been pretty much BUSY. and tired. am having this problem 0f feeling nauseous every night. ok, whatever it is in your mind, that is not going to happen until i got married okay. :) and not si Swine tu laa. selisih!

maybe i'm just too tired and also due to weather extreme changes. heyy, could we get a short term memory symptoms if we don not have enough rest? hmmmm, i think mine is getting worst. :( help?

i dunn0 what to blog. pfffft.

g0nna visit grandma and am g0nna have a feast over at Jalan Bahar!!! :)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY WOMEN! *winks*

atrium ;

2009-04-28T16:08:00.004+08:00

though it's tiring, but i've really enjoyed doing atrium. why? because i getta see other store sales assistant, especially those abit 'bengk0k'. LOL!

& so, yesterday atrium is at Bukit Panjang Plaza. yup, my 'w0rkt0wn' for the past 4 years. i really miss that place a L0T. though i'm not staying there, but i feel so 'homely' whenever i'm there. hahaha. a lot of memories over that side. too many. :) especially when i mentioned about B-0-Y-S. hahaha. i think th0se bus drivers of 180 might think i'mma such a playgirl. LOL!

from Elfe to Hedy and to Junwei, next is the one and only 'scandal', WeiSi0ng and lastly, then ONE and ONLY heartbeat, the EX. everyone is basically sending me home lorrr. hahahaha. funny. but the one i could never ever forget is Weisiong. cause he's the one who REALLY habe the initiative to fetch me and send me home till the front door. The Ex? nop, he did not ever ONCE, send nr till the front of my door. to recall, i must admit Weisiong is the best guy whom i've dated. up next, of course, the EX. (ala, tu pun kena call sur0 fetch. -.- tak mcm Weisiong, ada otak nak amik aku walaupun takda EZlink, sanggup pakai coins..) but whatever it is, guys still dump me laaaa, exclude Elfe.

and why on Earth am i talking about them? -.-

nonetheless, i really need to admit this.
BUKIT PANJANG PLAZA HAVE MORE EYE CANDY THAN JURONG POINT LAA!

kan shida?? especially yang putih putih kulit dia then pakai baju merah, bawak motor untuk send ayam. ala, yang rambut dia lawa tu. yang hot tuuu. yang aku keep cui2 dia, ala2 cannnot take my eyes of him?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
mintak kena hapuk sak mentel aku! member bingit jeee. shida, you know, i know laa ehhk. ahahahhahaa. tapi aku nya Ex tetap HOTHOTHEATTERBAKAR punya. :)) shida, i cannot get him out of my mind.......

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHHAAHHAAHAHHAHHAAHAH! tapi serious ahh, maybe dia resemble ahem-ahem, cik abang tersayang aku tuu. pfffftt.

ok bye. seee ~~Mr Clone~~ meeeeee onnn friiidayyyyyyyyy, 1st may at BPP!!! :)

playmates ;

2009-04-26T16:02:00.003+08:00

i've requested OFF for both jobs ONE month in advance for 26th April 2009, Sunday. and yes, its today. but SOME people just don't bother to see what i've requested inside that request b0ok and for that, I DON'T SEE THE FCUKING PURP0SE of that REQUEST BOOK. bahhhx. sickening. mv.

yes! i've requested OFF just for this. why? because the peeps above (exclude the bride) is my our childh0od mates. there's still a lot. but since all of us came in in a different timing, so we didn't getta see each other. :( yup, the gr0om mom was my Ustazah for our Quran reading-class. and his family help us a lot of times. :)

previously, there's like 6-7 malay neighbour living in my blk. but since, everyone's gr0wing up with b0ys and girls mixed up, they can't prolly be living in a 3-ro0m flat. haha. exclude my family, cause all of us are Girls. :) so the gr0om and the middle girl was the closest to us cause we live in the same storey. :) we played 'football', catching and lots more together. and the gr0om would normally go to the corridor and say, "Hidayah! Hidayah! main bola ahh!" in a whisper tone. LOL! hidayah is my Sis btw. and when we're having our Quran reading class at his house, he will do the same thing. hahahaha. his mom, our ustazah, would scold us if we play football. lol! kecoh! kec0h!

sigh. but time pass and people grow. and the sad thing, from babies, we gr0w up together as a kid but we did not gr0w up together as a teenagers and adult. tskk. && i still can't believe that he's married! he's only 24 lorrrrrrrrrrr. -.- and when Nonoi asked him whether he recognise us, he's like so blurrr! hahaha gabra babeeee! kawin laa katakan/ but thank GOD, somegow he can still remember us. i believe if Noi was there, sahhhhh dia kenal sapa. LOL!

g0sh. thinking about all this makes me MISS the whole l0t. our mem0ries would always stay eventhough we forgot each other, no matter what. cause, we wouldn't be able to forget our childh0od memories that b0nd us together so0 much. and i miss that. :)

sidetrack ;
saw Wahiddah in the bus just now. senang cakap, kalau aku jantan, dahh lama aku wooo dia. JAMBU GILA BABS SIIIIIO0oO0oOOLLLL! i jealous you! no, n0t necause dia lawa, tapi dia tak se-tembam pipi aku yang aku rasa dah naik 45kg each! pfffffft!

readers! (if there is laa ehk)
from 27th April till 3rd May 2009, there's a BODY SH0P ATRIUM at BUKIT PANJANG PLAZA! g0 and catch some cheap stuffs and spent about 55 bucks(to be saved) and be a FREE member for 1-year! 10% off on any regular item and 20% 0ff on y0ur Birthday Month! (one-time purchase) and so now? G-O GO!!! :)

i miss you, always ;

2009-04-24T18:29:00.002+08:00

a customer went over at the counter, looking and browsing at the TEAbags and asked,

"what tea do you have?"

with a seriously irritated monotone voice and with this -.- espression, i reply,

"the TEAS are over here, sir."

pffft.

ok, did that just happen? like ohh-my-goooooooood? as qouted by our STAR, Joanne,

"YOU STUPID OR WHATTT?"

Bahh! now now, tell me. why shouldn't i get irritated nonsensically with this Dickhead(s)? super annoying okay. -.- grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

ok i'm done with updating. hehs. no life bahhh, how to update. sighhhh.

ohhh jyeaaahhh, you guys g0tta catch '17 Again' cause Zac Efr0n is like sooooo hot. hehs, no laa! because the movie is like dammnnn funny lorrrrr. laugh alot. and fcuk, watching movie, especially comedy movie brings back the memories. when i laugh, he laughed together with me, in my head. and i so know what he will say when we watch comedy movie, "macam sial!" then we will laugh our ass out and with that he would hold me tighter, why? cause we're just way too comfortable with each other.

and today's - 240409.

the day where my happiness was totally CRUSHED.

diets? ;

2009-04-20T12:30:00.004+08:00

come come let me tell you something.

Saturday ;

Breakfast - NIL
Lunch (1pm) - Snack Wrap + Fries(S) + Water
Dinner (5pm) - Plain Rice + Ayam Lemak + Sambal HotDog/Fishball + Veggies + Water
2nd Dinner (1030pm) - 5 bread + Sambal ikan bilis.

Sunday ;

Breakfast (830am) - 2 Chickrn Floss Hotd0g Bread + Water
Lunch (1230pm) - Snack Wrap + Fries(S) + Ice Tea
Early Dinner (430pm) - 2 bowls of Mee Sot0 + 3 small chockysss
Supper (1130pm) - Half packet of Nasi Briyani

Monday ;

Breakfast (10am) - Balance of the yesterday night Nasi Briyani.

0.o

urrrrm, just urmm, what's wrong with me? LOL!

SINFUL! SINFUL! SINFUL! SINFUL!

okay, my cheecks and butt have gained few p0unds. -.-

Like what Mr. HAWT aka Amirul say, "sejak bila kau kurus?"

dia punya kurang ajar mintak kena rejam! chet!

on the other note;

boys are evil, just like Iblis and Gangs.

perangai like PKM aka MV.

nvm.

what g0es around, comes around ASSHIT B0YS.

ada time, korang kena balik ahh ehh.

the meetups ;

2009-04-15T12:05:00.007+08:00

say, meetups was extremely fun though there's a few hiccups in the earlier part of the j0urney. :)

meet the other similar name buddy over at jur0ng east before heeding to Causeway p0int to grab some stuff from the BS atrium. met Nadz over there and bought a shower gel and some body balm. :) waited for the 'buih queen' (HAHA) for quite awhile. THANK GOD she turned up LORRR. if not, i'll delete her off my friend list. hehe, who else, my first and foremost bestF, Siti K! akhirnya kini pasti, kau datang juaaaa!

walk around and Nadz need to g0 off. and so, the three of us make a U-turn to JE and went to Harbour Front to catch a movie and meet Hanisah up. so much of the MOVIE, it was cancelled due to the stupid timing. so, we chilled at Starbucks to have some pastry abd frappucino. catch up with ol' times and we laugh like nobody's business. HAHA.

t0ok pictures but I'm t0o lazy to upload that much. hahaha. while munching away, that 'buih queen' need to g0 off and so, it left with the Waniees and Hanisah. but few minutes later, Fanah came along and jyeaaahh, the ususal clan of meetups is MEETING up. hahaha. went back to our homet0wn, Jurong Point, and have our dinner at Swensens. yes, all the ol' memories and new experience was shared with great laughter. g0sh i miss that. :)

and after much laughter, we went seperate ways. Nisah and me cabbed back h0me. so, amaciam? next meetups? chalet or hotel? LOL! *winks* let's bring FADH along to the h0tel? LOL! kidding. 0.o

sidetrack; "HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MOMMA!"

well, eventhough you're such an annoying and irritating to the core MUM, nonetheless, you're still our mom no matter what. & still, you're the mum who knew what we like and what we dislike in our menu. the mum who will nag to sweep, clean, blah blah.. still, you're the one who raise us up. well, i must say You're a GOOD MUM if "somethings" doesn't exist. -.- i'll always pray for your safety and health in my prayers eventhough you don't have any idea about it. may ONE day, you'll be the greatest m0m on Earth. i'll always pray for it. :) hadiah hutang ahh ehhk. hehs.

yours truly;
your daughter. :)

2nd sidetrack; (LOL!)

z0o pictures that was not upload last few weeks back.

ohh yeahhh, kalau korang nmpak nie, rasa2 korang terperanjat tak? LOL! siol punya jiran. nasib takda heart attack sakk aku!

alright, till here then. psssst: i'm gr0wing ohhh sooooo fat. -.- hurhurhur.

sniggers ;

2009-04-13T10:04:00.002+08:00

was on Facebook when i saw someone did some test.

i was like 0.o when i see the shoutout related to the test.

seriously, a big HAHA laa siaaaaaaa. so much of a ******.

ehh sayang, 2 times laa ehhh, 2 timesss. segar babe dalam kepala otak aku.

hehs, nampak sahhh penipu.

Forget it.

jobs ;

2009-04-08T17:14:00.002+08:00

gahhhh, it's SOOOOO and EXTREMEEEE difficult to find a job. well, its true when they say you need EDUCATION to earn a living. bahss. Higher NITEC certs means NOTHING in an employers requirements. sigh.

i seriously don't understand. how possible can it be for someone who don't possess any business admin cert or prolly a NITEC cert could get all this j0bs easily. bahhhss. why do luck always stays on their side, not mine? bahhhhhhhhhhssss. -.-" nuff said.

too much things going on around me. family issues, work issues and etc etc. 2009, you're not helping me at all. tsk. everything got worse instead. sigh.

no mood to blog.

z0o ;

2009-04-05T19:49:00.009+08:00

yup yup! the meet-ups with the Cousins after months of not seeing each other. since the previ0us plan was being cancelled, we still heed with our plans, to see all the lovely animals. nyeahahaha. :)

z0ooo! here we come! *winks*

meet up with the rest at woodlands around 1030, bought some breakfast before hailing a cab to reach the destination. wow, its been eooooonssss of yearssss since i stepped my fo0t there. hah! sangat berubah.

Am, Lyns' boyfie, managed to get us 4 tickets free! YEAY! *winks* so we paid for only 1 ticket and that's around 3.5 bucks each? HAHAHA. co0l ehkkk. :) aku sayang Am punya adik! LOL! save gila doo0k! hahaha.

cut short cause i malas nak explain story panjang2 hehs. we walked around with lots and extremely LOTS of laughter especially by Idas' antique. dia ehh, selenger banget dehhh. hahaha.

me: alahhh!!! aku nak pegang anak ayam! aku nak pegang chicks!!!!!!
shasha: akk ahhh, aku pun!
lyn: ekk ehhh, chicks takda laaa!
me: last time aku pergi time kecik2, ada sehh, aku pegang sey. *with the hand acti0n*
lyn: -.-

HAHAHAH. ehhhh best tau pegang chicks. so cuteeee! bahsss. but that was like errrmm, 16 years back?? LOL! well, i must say, there's a lot of changes! hahaha. duhhh? idas' quote, "sikit hari, masa aku time kecik kecik, mak aku . . etc." LOL! dengar2 baru dua hari lepas kau jadik budak kecik ehh? LOL.

0k, pendek cerita ehh, we have our lunch at kFC since its raining cats and dogs. so, we chilled there before proceeding to our clever elephant showssssss. :) then we proceed back t0 causeway p0int and chilled at mccafe to have our frappe drinks. well, all of us reached home before 9. :))

pixies up. ehh, sorry ahh for the improper updates. hahaha. ;p

ok dah lain kali i update lagi ekk. byeeeee~

y0u; nothing more i can do.

sounds ;

2009-04-03T18:54:00.003+08:00

m0oooo0o0000oo.... bunyi apa itu wahai adik adik?

mbeeeekkkkkkkkkk.... haaaa, itu apa pula yee rakan rakan?

ngaaaaaaaauuuummmm....... issssh, garang tuu, bunyi apa tu cik oi?!

hehehehe.

i just wanna lose everything about my past.

emotions ;

2009-03-31T22:30:00.003+08:00

i was opening up my Business Application LCCI book just for the sake of fun, when a picture drop from one of the pages. the 1st thing that i saw was the words i've written behind the picture. gather all my courage to turn and look, just to realise tears rolling down my eyes, again. i slit it back to one of the pages because it hurts. the picture which was printed f0r my 1-year Anniversary, and framed it as a jigsaw puzzle. the gift that was given one day before he went for his NS. everything seems real fresh. and its hurting me back. :'(

reading up th0se Lecture Books didn't help much, but it gets worsen when i truly miss studying with my ITE mates. babes, i miss the whole lot of you. i miss the lame j0kes we usually share. i miss th0se tears when each of us having problems with the partners. i miss our drawing lessons. i miss skipping classes just t0 have breakfast at McDonalds. i wish we could be back in school, laughing our hearts out. i really miss you guys. open up one of your ITE books, and i bet you'll feel what i felt right now. :( we'll meet up real soon aye!

tears aside;

anger took over me the whole morning while i'm doing my 630am shift. i'm just too furi0us with work. whenever i see the schdule, i just feel like punching someone face. i don't know why. it's just so unfair. argh. i NEED to find 0ther j0b and just get out from there as soon as possible. i know i should feel contented cause the very least i gotta job, but i think its just way too much ahh. totally not appreciated at all.

but the moment Tuty came in, my head feels a bit lighter. at least she makes me smile. very much needed indeed. but one person that makes me smile and laugh to my ownself was Amirul. he and his antiques. he was doing closing yesterday night and he knows i'm doing opening the next day. guess what he did?

he pasted all this at the side of the espresso machine. the funny part was his message, "Please BE JEALOUS!" -.-

ada ada je tau dia. what's inside? he got this 2 letter from a primary 6 girl yang telah jatuh cinta pandang pertama with him. LOL! that girl mentioned he's HAWT especially his eyes! LOL! seriously, i was smiling reading th0se letters. berani ehk budak2 perempuan nowadays? hahaha. haiy0oo. ishh isshh issh. then i was like messaging him, "ehh sayang, you nak i buang surat2 tu ke you nak simpan?" and he say, "sembarang you laa. i cuma nak kasi you tengok je. x) " HAHAHAHA. setttoppp it sak. best tau melayan dia. LOL! dia pun kaki melayan. nyeahahaha. mirul... mirul... gerek jugak otak kau ehhh. hah!

sidetrack;
i just feel 2009 is not the right year yet for me. it sucks. everything. sigh

till here.

pain ;

2009-03-30T00:47:00.002+08:00

seriously, i'm having a backpain. i'm not so sure how it come about. -.- somehow, it irritates me, a lot. bahs. i wanna go for a massage! b0oo-ho0o. and right now, i'm having this 'masuk angin' thing in my tummy. grrrrr.

work was pretty much okay for yesterday and today. only that, yesterday guest was like, DUHHHHHHH????!! like what the fuck, she told me that i'm charging her sister card for more than what she THINKS she needs to pay. ???!!! her sister can understand my explanation about the $50 set deal where else she ACT like she understand it in the first place. and now, she blame me for not clearing up what i've explained to her. macam APA AJA kan? ok, let's say if her sister couldn't get what i'm trying t0 say too, i don't mind if she wanna state that i didn't explain it t0 them clearly laa kan. but her sister CLEARLY understand every each word that c0me out from my mouth whatttttt. so, my fault keeeerrr? No right? abeh member dah malu pasal adik dia faham, cuma dia je yang tak reti2, lepas tu nak tutup malu masih lagi nak tolak salah pat aku. kira macam malu dia, tolak kat aku ahhh. perangai betolnya dasar lautan seyy. grrrr. even Carol was like ???!!! -.- susahhh betol handling people yang tak reti bahasa melayu. tulahh, aku ckp melayu kat dia, nak step berbual mat salihh. ahhh, sekarang bila aku berbual mat salih, kau cakap aku tak explain clearly. mintak kena rembatttt je! brrrrrr...

ok, 'retail-therapy' aside, let's get down to 'coffee-therapy' ayee! hahaha. well, i must say that my presence there is like no longer needed. i mean, i'm working for like only 3-4 days with each day getting only 5 hours pay. sucks eyy? i know. its like so unfair, seriously. you know sometimes its just unfair cause whenever its my schedule, they'll plan me like until 120o or 1230. but others could get around 6-7 hours. i mean, where's the fairness? everyone needs to earn $$. so it feels like, "ohh bila ada orang kau buang aku ahh, letak sikit hours semua. abehh bila dah takda beanie, pandai kau carik aku." argh. whatever it is, i miss my ex manager, Sophia. the best. sigh.

i WOULD really REALLY luuurrrvvee to get a new job. working in this manner, like how i am right now, doesn't really guarantee any $$$ per month. and it's hard when i can't control my own $$. cause i've plans. but due to all this up and down pay roll, i can't concentrate well on what i wanna do. sigh. i need a job BADLY. :(

on a happy note;
my skin is getting better. :) after this i'm gonna take the blood test, so0n, s0on, s0o0n! :) and some of my debts are going to be clear up real so0n. insyaallah. bit by bit babe, asalkan haBis bayar j0y! hahaha. *winks*

by the way, his cousin text me the other day. hahaha. after 254136164 days of not messaging, suddenly he popped out just to ask about my life. haha. well, he 'advised' me to stay happy laa kon0nnyer, like him. hehs. i'll try laa eahk, since 'my happiness' have walked out of my life. hehes. :) but then, it's nice of him to ask and the least text me despite knowing much of me just t0 ask about my life, dari abang saudara dia yang tak berhati perut ulam jantung bet0l! hmph! well, thanks Idris for that, ahhhh, advice? 0.o HAHAHA. 18 years old ehhhh? perasan-tan abes! perangai sepesen dengan sedara dia! chet!

ok, i need to sleep. i am very very sleeppyyy already. . . . *yawn*

zZzZZzZz... ohh ya, bye....

zZZzzzZzzz..

bella ;

2009-03-27T18:55:00.002+08:00

yeayy! so eim, i've created baby bella for my pets society thingy! nyeahahahaha. :) my baby is like so cute lorrr, macam ala ala tuan empunya diri laa gitu. wahhhhhh! hahahahaha. *winks*

nothing much to update actually.

TBS pay is in today but oh well, three-quarter of it went *poof* for not even a day. bahs. need to pay debts, bills and give some to the parents. geez, i'm left with Sistaa debts and my own bank debts. ohh did i forg0t about Mama debts too? LOL! see, i work so hard just to pay HUTANG. cheh! takpe2, time will pass and i'll get what i want! :) save baby, save!

i'm nearly 70% sure in turning to be a ~~vampire~~ HAHAHA. like what aku merepek siaaaa. ok, LAME. i mean i'm 70% sure in changing my status to full timer in TBS instead of finding admin job yang sah sah aku takkan dapat because for sure they want experience and mandarin speaking. bahs. -.- nothing much to comment about it laa. you know, i know. :) the pay is pretty low actually and dad doesn't really agree with it. cause after cpf deduction, i'm getting the amount which i'm getting right now. hmm, well what my SL explain to me do make sense. like its better to be a full timer eventhough the pay pretty so-so rather than being a part timer which is based in hourly rate. sighh. macam mana eahk? -.-

nevermind, i'm giving myself till mid-year or end-year. tsk.

kalau aku jadi manager McD amaciam? gaji lumayan d0k. more than TBS pay lehh. HAHAHAHAHA. *winks*

ok, i'll update a proper one when i've got any events laa eahk. blog aku ni macam ala ala nak mampus tapi masih alam nazak. cheh!

btw, i'm deleting friendster, SOOON! gossshh, deleting all those YEARS of memories with the secondary mates, ITE mates, the Ex-Heartbeat (where we meet each other!) and meeting back all my primary mates too. sigh. nak buang sayang, tak buang mcm dah tak active. yang sayangnya lebih kepada memories You-Know-Who laa. i still kept all those exchange messages till now. arggggh.

ok ok, aku blah. aku blah!

doctor ;

2009-03-25T17:12:00.002+08:00

another trip to the the clinic which cost me 70 bucks for those medicine and injection on my, butt. -.- well, i must say that injections on butt is more painful than on the arms ehk. HAHA. so, currently my rashes is under control. sigh. doctor informed me not to try any oil perfume at work since she thinks that's one of the items that i've get my rashes from. tsk. now, i can't oil-ed myself with that sensual Vanilla perfume oil ~~anymore~~ for the time being. hehhehe. degil kan aku? then she mentioned not to eat anything related to shrimp or prawns, which i personally think i'm not allergic to those food. but well, i don't mind not eating prawn cause i don't really like prawns, but BELACAN? how can i avoid it when momma cooks her dishes with that, most of the time? as what momma mentioned, "kau kalau tak makan cheese, kau tak rugi apa2, tapi kau rugi besar kalau tak makan belacan." -.- thanks ehh ma, for the kata kata perangsang. chetz! i'm thinking of going for the blood test which the doctor mentioned that day. pretty expensive but to think back, its worth it cause the very least i can know what i'm allergic too so i can avoid it and not to waste anymore bucks to the doctor, the very least, once after 4 months or so? hehs. dad thinks it's a good idea. hmmm..

i'm so careless on that Sunday. i've accidentally melt-ed the toaster wire on the toaster itself. and that cause a tripped in the morning. -.- thank GOD, ~~abang~~ pakcik service can come in. fuhhh! you'll never know how terrified i am when i informed ern nee. cindy was being way too helpful to calm me down rather than Francis Teo, who keep on saying, "ay0 jia lat laah you, ernn nee will scold you upside down." -.- babi betol. haha. then at retail work, i did not scan in another item which somehow caused slight kecoh-ness there. nasib Carol not working. if not, i mampos first. well, i think i'm too sleepy laa ehh. hahaha. but now, i've got more than enough rest that i'm feeling pretty bored at home. bahhs.

anyway, i've wanted to do so many things this year. MANY. but its either i'm stuck with the time, or where to start or about the bucks. shhheessssh. i've got lots to plan for my own life, needs and interest but yeah, since the bodohnya economy is so freaking down, and i couldn't even fucking get to go for any interview for admin job, it makes my plans goes off slowly and eventually DIE. macam babi betol.

ahhh, persevere! like what momma say, "hendak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih". fuhh, for the first time, kata kata mak aku kasi impact kat aku. hahaha. cause she's the sort yang macam "aku peduli apa" to us. well, of you know my mom laaa kannnnnnn..... :)

sidetrack,
i watch this indoneasian drama which was repeated in Suria (like selalu kan, SURIA) about ilmu ikhlas thingy? uk uh, i think some of you've known about the drama. haha. a saying which goes something like this, "aku belajar solat hanya kerana aku mengejar ***. bukan kerana ALLAH SWT.." ahh, i can't actually remember apa lahh ehhk. huahuahua. but it just struck me something laa. well, something personal i must say. and that make me realise something. i shan't pray for the sake of wanting GOD to hear me and/or grant my wish. but i must pray for GOD. geees, i sounded like you-know-who laa kak! hahaha.

...i've made up my mind. and i shall try to make it work. i hope i can, cause i really don't want to go back to square one, which i think i'm getting near to back-to-square-one thingy. gettit? oh, forget it.

chalo.

...siapakah di antara kita;

dengan rela menjadi pendusta;

siapakah dulu membina harapan;

& siapa yang memusnahkan impian;

tanpa sebab & alasan kau mainkan perasaan;

bagai taufan tiba tiba datang & menghilang...

dreams ;

2009-03-20T18:10:00.004+08:00

it was 430am in the morning when i took a glance at the time, and i knew i'm left with 45 minutes to get myself ready for work. tried my very best to sleep and to wake up with a hanging dream because my fucking alarm just NEED to ring at the crucial moment. grrrrr. i so want my dream back CAN? i dreamt of meeting . . . . . . . . . *sigh* its been months since the last time i've a happy dream. how i wished everything would come true eyy. :(

like again, since i'm very free and willy, i did some test from Facebook. mendakk d0ook! heh, reminds me of Hanisah. hahaha!

" Lovely Lady - - You are lovely and caring (to selected love ones only) . You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy (not so laaa) . Your life aim maybe is to serve the people (hahaha, noble pe aku?) . But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs (OHHHH SANGAT BENAR!). All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble (not really laa) . Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life (duhhhh?) . Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it (HAHAHAHA. betol, betol, betol) . People trample onto your soul (TRUE!) if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you (ABSOLUTELY TRUE!) . Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life (never lorr) , you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare (HAH! macam fahamsss) . "

hehehe. ok, aku boring!

did i mentioned i saw 'mickey' at cafe earlier on? macam babssss! confirm2 besok aku kena serang lagi. i BELIEVE that creature is still there, somewhere either below the ice machine or merchandiser or sink or behind the bin or below the machine. argghh! aku stress sakk nak buat opening!! :( ok, laugh all you want, but i'm really scared of 'mickey' LORRR. they are amat kekotoran dan kegeliaaann gitu. aduhhh, mampus laaa tomorrow. :( confirm and pasti aku macam minah berphobia gituk. -.-

i'm currently fickled minded whether or not i should see the doctor. yes, rashes are superbly killing me and my skin bit by bit. it've been itching since 2-3 weeks back. argh. anyone gotten any remedy for all this? my skin gave this small2 irritaing rashes. you know the type when you scratch it'll feel so fcuking shi0kk? but after effect, it would spread and you'll have small2 kudis (in English apa ahh? hahaha) my skin become more ugly lorrrrr. ugly already then become more ugly with thesssseee. -.-"

ok, no mood already. bye.

taknak dia lagi, tapi tetap nak dia! how.. :(

bride? ;

2009-03-17T15:56:00.003+08:00

You're the type of girl who is feminine, old fashioned, and totally traditional. You've been dreaming of your wedding day since you were young And you can't wait to be a princess in your big white gown. It's likely that you'll have a big family wedding and take your husband's name While a huge affair will be fun, just don't go all Bridezilla about the color of your napkins!

HAHAHAHA. see, this is what i do when boredom strikes. hehehe. counting down the seconds to meet the BestF. ahhh! nice one. at last, manage to gather the trios back. everyone's busy, you see. especially yours truly, ME. hahahaha.

supposedly i need to work at retail-work-life but since its been 5-days stretch i worked, Carol decided to put me off cause she's pretty scared i'll go Zoink. hahaha. like hello, i've been wrking 12-days stretch lorr. hahaha. yahh, prolly she thinks i'm weak eahh, when actually i'm pretty fit! alhamdullillah. :) see laa, i can gain 7hrs of payment today. pffftt.

cafe-work-life is getting more and more mundane. i just feel that everyone is working for the sake of it. actually, me too! for the sake of 2 weeks payment mode. if not, i'll just quit. cause everything is wayy to cocked up. and its getting irritating with the camera everywhere and stuff. bahhhs.

ohh yaaa! i saw miss-tongtaik-penyapulidi that day! hahahahaha. makin kurus ehh kau bia! apa rahsiaaamuu?? hehehehehehehe. oiiii! sila ehhhh, i repeat, SILAA EHHHHHH, invite aku! pinggan mangkuks betol ahhhhh! hahahahaha.

and i saw Zainab. my long lost Sri Warisan buddy! apparently she doesn't recognise me laaa. its always me who'll be able to recognise others. chheeh! anyway, we're soooo damn happy lorrrr. and we exchange numbers. haahhha. ohh daym! i lost contact with the other buddy. now i need to find all her letters by which i'm not sure whether i've throw it away or not. member sejak kena marah dengan aku pasal tolak bum aku sembarang, terus senyap sak! -.- last2 lost contact balik! kalau tak can do reunion and laugh at our NDP stupid acts. hahahaha. hopefully getta find the letter laa seyy!

nothing much happen. life's still the same. work and work. ohh, still no BF or teman tapi mesra. happily single, NOT. hhahahahahahha. pratically my life have always been THAT and THAT'S IT. gettit? sometimes i just felt like as if i'm not getting married later on cause i'm just busily working without getting myself socialise with others. bahss. selisih malaikat 44. semua ex-kesayangan aku nya pasal laaahhh! kalau dia tak break dengan aku, confirm2 aku dah bahagia bersama cucu dan anak2. WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA. setttoppp it sakk. hehehe. kidding baybeh! :)

but yehh, i miss him. he's changed. i don't know what and why i say that, but i just feel it. i miss the old him, someone who's really down to earth. i miss that, truly. :(

gotta go.

>br>

losing my heartbeat.

karam ;

2009-03-11T00:16:00.002+08:00

"... dapatkah putik kan menjadi bunga
kiranya cuaca sering gerhana
dapatkah kasih bersemi selamanya
ataupun aku harus berserah kepadaNya
Yang Maha Esa

mestikah ada satu pengorbanan
sehingga terjadinya perpisahan
kiranya itu satu permintaan
perlukah kau dan aku merelakan

kita hanya insan yang selalu mengharapkan
suatu yang indah dalam percintaan
di kala tiba dugaan mendatang
aku kau tinggalkan

karam aku di lautan duka
bila wajahmu hilang di mata
tiada berita pengubat rindu
di kala sendu

kubiarkan luka di hati berdarah
sehingga kering dimamah mentari
apakah salahku
disakiti sebegini

perlukah aku terus mengharapkan
camar yang hilang kembali ke sarang
apakah masih ada kerinduan
yang tersimpan di hatimu sayang ..."

thoughts ;

2009-03-09T19:51:00.002+08:00

assalammualaikum warahmatullahi ta'ala wabarakatuh. tepuk sepuluh! *inside joke* HAHA.
ok, i miss dikir barat-ing.

meet up with the BestF for breakfast at Long John Silver. had my Texas Chicken Sandwich. awww, nice one man! too many stories to be exchanged cause its been pretty sometimes i met her, Gerl. pity her cause she hurt her arm but still wanna meet me up for breakfast and carrying her lappie around. hehe. thanks ehh joy! after the breakfast, we decided to chill at library instead of RP, (apparently, because she's lazyy.. -.- ) and watched movie! yeay! at last i getta watch it with SOUNDS. HAHAHAHAHA. well, shayida, pray hard that by end of this year when the 2nd movie is going to release, i'll be all up for it eahk. haha, Gerl is joining! yeayyy! ok go! :)

well, the BestF told me something. i dunno how she's facing it. if i'm in her shoes, i'll be flaring up or maybe i'll couldn't sit still. but she seems chill-ice-ice-ke-baby with it lorr. or is she putting a strong front? ehh gerl? haha. well, you know we (shayida & me) are always around aye. if there's anything just call us up. and we'll beat him up if he's doing anything stupid to you! hahaha. macam faham! ohhh don't be offended baby girl, we're just being protective (not the father-ly way) towards you okays! :) hehe.

ehh ya, about that problem Shayida, jangan laa kau dilemma wanita sangat ok? hahaha. ask and knock some sense into her before spitting anything out to your whom-it-may-concern. anything beep me, i'm always around. :)

ok, gotta move now. gonna fill up my yelling tummy with some errr, foods? hahaha. tolcha' i'm growing the wrong way. toodles~

was said: "perempuan tak pernah akan faham bila lelaki berjalan dengan perempuan lain."
-ohhh ye ke? abeh kalau perempuan jalan dengan lelaki lain, lelaki tu akan faham ahh? its more like, "kau eahhh, perempuan murahh pe sial?"

agree? *roll eyes* middle finger up to dicks.

but oh well, i still need dicks anyway! hahahahahahahahaha. :)

missing your jokes that tickles every inch of my feelings.

time ;

2009-03-09T00:06:00.003+08:00

it's only 3 days back i've posted up an entry but i felt like i've not posted anything up for like 1 week or so? haha.

pretty busy with work and not having enough sleep. well, see, when i have the time to sleep early like today, i opt not to. haha. mintak kena terajang ehkk. :)
working 2 jobs might be stripping off the whole energy and time of mine, but i'm still amazed by the extra lil' time i can get to spend for my ownself. well, i've not been a pretty good gal this few weeks cause i've been going out whenever i got my off day. its either meeting the sister or cousin or bestF or even to have a small gathering with the cafe beanies. overall, my time is pretty fill up with all those lil' sorts of things, besides reading up those novels or thinking about you-know-who.

i've been down with fever, cough, sore throat and flu for the past 2 days but i'm still up for work. no choice. if i'm on MC, i won't get the money. see, it sucks when you work in this type of environment. i don't know whether its the weather or i get it from my sis. but my throat is burning. imagine me, working 2 jobs which need me to SPEAK UP a lot of times. yes, torturous! by the end of the day, i lost my voice. hahaha. but cool ahh, macam ala2 rock babe!

and the 2nd job was extremely fun for yesterday and today! i was laughing till i become gila lorr. Umi and her antiques can simply erase all my worries or sickness. with her MENOPAUSE sing-a-long session and dance, my GOD, priceless! especially just now lorr. HAHAHAHAHA.

btw, i feel pretty contented when Kak Siti mentioned that she's comfortable with how i work and stuff. fuh! the very least, i manage to show her that I CAN WORK. because she got some issue with SOME people laa eahk. hahahaha. and she's asking me whether i wanna continue or not. well, couldn't decide. sighh.

ok ok, last but not least, did i mentioned i'm growing FATTER? i've been eating like a PIG lorrrrrr. yes, its true. i ate nasi padang lorr just now which cause me 6.40. rice and 4 dish? mampus! abeh aku baru bedal doublr cheeseburger?! YA ALLAH! apa nak jadi ngan perempuan zaman sekarang? isshhh. help?

ok, im off.

"minah lu tk tau jaga diri sendiri kah?"
-even if i'm on deathbed, i'll be extremely fine if you're the one who cure it.

i miss the heat which lingers when you touch my skin. i miss you.

farewell ;

2009-03-05T13:47:00.005+08:00

was at home, happily reading the Twilight Saga Book by which i know i've been a few weeks late for that thang (HAHA) when i received a message from a colleague. well, apparently i thought of going to pak mustafa, but i backed out after much thought. haha. and so, its the farewell dinner cum short "eating-getaway" for us.

called up the cousin which of course one of my colleague, asking whether he wanna tag. with his ZzZZz still stuck up inside his head, he decided to let it a miss. but Brother Bear was asking, "Aku ikot boleh?" -.- that's funny. HAHA. after much persuasion from *ahem ahem* ME, the cousin decided to tag along whrn i say we're meeting later for dinner. see laa, then blame me for not giving him a proper instruction. -.-

blah blah blah. meet up with the cousin at lakeside and off to Bugis to meet the others. then, ta-daaaaa, semua keburukkan terkeluar, especially, ME. wahahahaha. well since that time Brian blame me for not eating much, so, AMEK KAU! hahahaha. after which, Amirul had to leave for his night class. awww...

we then proceed to sheesha-ing at the 'common streets' laa. haa! i don't have any choice lor but to tag along. -.- fact: I'm still a VIRGIN for sheeshaa too! eventhough everyone was like, "waniii, try ahhhhhh." hahahaha. especially that cousin! "kau stress kan? then try laa!" hahahaha. TIDAK SAMA SEKALI LORRR. hahahaha.

overall, did enjoy the whole thang. pretty fun eyy, only if Amirul doesn't back out during the whole process, he wouldn't be smiling all alone in the train, trying to bite his tongue just to save himself from making a fool of himself for those messages that was replied by Brian. -where'd you go.. i miss you so.. seems like its been forever since you've been gone..." HAHAHA. mangkuk! lepas tu pakai HP aku plak tu! thank God Amirul have his common sense to know that was Brian. HAHAHAHA. funny shit lorr.

but at the end of the day, there's just something which spoiled my day lorr. sigh..

sidetrack;
felicia have been going around telling others about my "Isabele" name by which she say i wanna be Bella Swan. that stupid Gorilla! hahaha. but oh well, why not? hahahahaha. i'm still finding my Edward thou'. ohh no, i need to find my Jacob first then my Edward will come back eyy? HAHAHAHAHA. ok, that's some kind of a perasan sendiri thingy laa. but when i mentioned it to Felicia, guess what she say? "Aiyaaa! both of them appear already mahhh! Jacob is Mahen then your Edward is Ywou Kwon!" -_____- c'mon people, let's slap her. kanasai! betolnya mangkuk ajaib betol! hahahahahaha..

ok then, need to read my books soooooon! daaaaaa!

i'm in a big dilemma which i've invest it my ownself.

meet ups ;

2009-03-03T17:20:00.003+08:00

yeap, a short but pretty much enjoyable meet up which was planned for not even a day. :)

the ex-primary school mates ; azmy & hamizah.

let me tell you something, among all the EX-mate, only Mizah keep in contact with me. the rest just went 'p0p'. meaning, sometimes appear, sometimes not. so being me, i can't be bothered. that's why whenever they planned something with them, i'm one of them who went 'p0p'. HAHA. you see, i don't like too BIG crowd when i wanna hang out cause BIG = NOISY. so, yeahhh.

but what the hell, with the both of them non stop fighting, i can go gila laa sey. well actually, we're not close to azmy but i don't know since when both of them get close laa eahk. hahaha. it was damn funny lor, talking about who we got crush on. well, i must say my primary 1-6 buddy was the HOT one uh. haha. jyeahh, we missed the whole lot, alot. especially those 'couple-d up' partners. macam faham! hahaha. those times....

well, hope we're gonna meet up again. but not centrepoint anymore okays. mendakssss. hahahaha.

till here then.

-.- ;

2009-02-28T21:29:00.002+08:00

so, ahem-ahem *clears throat*, its been a week i've not been visiting my blog. well, as usual lazy and not much of updates.

first of all, the outing which i've been looking for is well, cancelled. so, there goes my supposedly 'exciting' weekends. please make it happen the next time. -.- but overall, its pretty okay since its raining, so no harm for cancelling. hehs.

work? ouh my god, the cutting of hours is killing me, extremely. every each of us is trying hard to squeeze some hours here and there. well, for some of us, i mean the usual clan, eg me brian mirul tuty, we have been changing our schedule in order to give some either of us hours. pathethic eahk? see, toldcha' 2009 doesn't give me any good signs. there goes all my hopes. sigh.

on the other hand, i thanked the retail manager for giving me hours as much as i needed eventhough i'm just a part timer. well, i do whine but i just need the monaaaayy babbbyyy. money = root of all sickness. cheh. doing pretty much okayy with retails. :)

BUT, if there's any chance for me to work on something related to my ITE course, i'll be more than happy. bahssss.

ehh boring nya aku nya updates! -.- bye.

wahai puan tongtaik-penyapulidi, dalam diam2 hang baca cek nya blog. tak tag pun! cheh! rabak. i know who you are. *wide smile* please eh, invite aku! hmph!

menanti yang tak pasti.

rashes ;

2009-02-21T01:03:00.003+08:00

my GOD, this rashes is really killing me man! i've been scratching here and there like, forever. ouhh GOD, when is my rashes gonna meet its end? bahs. -.-

life hasn't been the same as the usual days. despite having the same routine of life for like 28 days in a proper month, there's still bits and pieces of changes. well, for my case, majority is never a good change.

like for example, i'm still down with rashes since 2-3 weeks back, i'm still moody and i'm still grumpy. -.-

btw, i read 'someone' msn nick. something which goes around something like this, "if you want someone to be happy, then you must let him/her go.. etc" hah! let's turn the table and put yourself in that particular person shoe? how would you feel? senang cakap dari buat oi. cuba lah baru boleh faham every aspect of the situation.

i remember the last time when i consoled Brother Bear about his breakup through msn. fuhhh, punyalah cantik aku susun ayat ; "dahh lahh, maybe you'll find someone better. and move on. maybe she's not the one for you.." saaaaaaap! sekali terkena my own batang nose uhhh, wahhlaaaauuweeeyyyy. heartache, heartpain, heartbroken, hearthancur, heartpecah seyy. ok Brother Bear, i take back all my nasihat yang sesungguhnya tak guna and macam faham back. its true, you can never know how they feel unless you're in their shoe. i kept telling friends to move on when they've broken up. but the fact is, its ~~HARD~~ BLOODY HARD to move on. now, i would never ever say to a broken couple, MOVE ON, cause if i were to say that, it's like slapping my own face with my own feet. duhhh.

i should be sleeping actually. but i'm not sleepy eventhough i'm tired and have been yawning countless time. sigh.

work? sigh, don't bother to know about cafe. absolutely useless. any other word better than useless? -.- guess what i get in return? rashes and scars due to that stupid APC.

pretty much looking forward for next week trip with mama's side cousins. despite not having much money to spend due to some unforseen circumstance (kan sha?) i'm still happy about it.

but NOTHING could beat the happiness if i get what i hoped and prayed for. =)

till here. night.

**no, i'm not willing to let anything go. neither will i stay and hold on to it. i will move on. but only when the time is right. only when my heart is truly opened for someone else. i don't know what you're doing outside, inside. but i'll pray, and pray. maybe GOD will bless me by meeting you back or maybe HE would bless me by giving me the chance to know someone else who will know how my heartbeat beats for the one i loved. i pray it would be the one that i wanted for, and that's to be with you till my last breath. baby, i love you no matter what happen. *tears* **

carousel ;

2009-02-19T16:42:00.003+08:00

and so, we (read: kak yati & me) decided to have our lunch buffet at Royal Scotts Plaza Hotel (is that the name?). Carousel serves extremely nice buffet feast. pretty expensive, but i've rather spend my money on the buffet instead of sushi. well, let's keep everything short aye. after filling our tummy with seafoods, sushi, deserts, main dish, fondue and soups, i followed kak yati to her Tante house at simei to take kek lapis from her. chill awhile before proceeding back to our home land, jurong to meet my sistaaa. nothing much actually. bahs. omg, can someone slap me and ask me to write a proper update? -.-

and for today, cabbed down to IMM alone to go to Sony Ericsson service center. its the 2nd time my K850i brings unnecessary problem to me. *roll eyes* thank you shayida for the 'borrowed phone'. and after that, went to GIANT and walked the whole supermarket to find anything interesting. well, i bought chocolates, blueberries and tea. its pretty pathethic actually to roam around alone, but with my earpiece stuck to my earlobe, everything went smoothly. my mood was extremely down. extremely down. that's why i hate NOT working for 2 days. it just makes me feel extremely bored and moody.

i am actually pissed with work. each of us MUST take 2 permanent OFF days instead of 1. siao. then, how on earth am i going to find the money? you see, being in this line, its like "you work, you got money, you don't work, you've got no money, you want more, you give more." and now, i'm like, "I WANT MORE, you give less." i can foresee that 2009 is not a good year for money wise. -.-

i want to find other job seriously. any recommendations?

ok, i need to replace someone from 7-11pm. and tomorrow im at 630am shift with extended 2nd job at 4 to 10. i'm very sure i'll be pretty moody. fcuk.

off.

*GOD, listen to my what my heart is saying. please. *tears*

revamp ;

2009-02-17T17:56:00.002+08:00

so, i've revamp my dead blog a lil' bit. hehs.

well, i'm pretty fickle minded about dumping this blog cause i can't bear to dump it actually. hahs! actually i thought of moving to other blogsite, but after much thought, blogger is way user-friendly. :)

let's see, hmm, anything to update?

nothing much, as usual. so many things happened but i can't actually reveal much here. but all the things happening around me is not making any good to me. nothing makes me happy exclude the GST money! heh, but thinking back on what i need to do with the money, brings me back to square one, NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPY. -.-

i've been EXTRA grumpy all this while. i don't know. there must be something that is not right somewhere in me. i'm thinking of going to some anger management course or something like that. but Dad just advised me to pray and ask from GOD. cousin mentioned about some hormone change or what so ever. i don't know, and i need to know what's wrong with me. sick? maybe. -.-

i'm not in talking term with 2 of the family members due to some reason. sigh. its weird you know, living under the same roof but not talking to each other. sometimes i think its better cause the very least i won't be rude to either of them. sigh. i don't wanna be like this. but i've got no choice cause i'm just angry with them.

i seriously need something to make me well again. i don't want to be grumpy. cause life is short, there's no point having this anger 24/7. i'm tired of being grumpy.

i prayed, prayed, prayed. i'm hoping GOD would hear me. pleasee...... *tears*

updates ;

2009-02-11T14:18:00.002+08:00

you know what?

i think i'm shutting this blog FULLY.

meaning, no changing of url or privated or what so.

cause i no longer know what to blog.

like what i say to sistaaa;

"aku, aku rasa aku nak delete ahh blog aku. aku dah tak tau nak blog pasal apa. pusing2 pasal kerja. and sejak da break up, aku macam dah no life, pasal aku asik kerja. he's the one who bring me out. sekarang, dah tak. so i don't know
what to blog anymore. let's wait for the next boyfriend, then i'll start
blogging again, maybe."

till here.

ps: i miss/love you teribbly, ibrahim hussine.

dead blog ;

2009-02-03T21:31:00.002+08:00

precisely. i think my blog is DEAD. haha.

i'm like updating it once a week? hehs. i think i am seriously gonna roll this blog off man. i mean i've got no time to update. besides, nothing major really happened in my life. nahh, there's still NO guy that i'm interested in. HAHAHA. joking. life revolves around work 1 and work 2. i think i've no time to go on a date or what so ever. let's pray i'm still getting married by the age of 25/26. ha-ha-ha.

my FINALLY off day dor tomorrow would be a sing along session with the cousins. like usual, mesti ahh ada orang nak sabotage plan. who else, my first sistaa, lil' cousin and brother bear. bahss. so its down with me, 2nd sistaa, tashima, and ms keitch. hope it would turned out to be FUN. -.- no, more like ; hope my pay gonna 'deliver' by tonight so i'll have a few bucks to spend. haha. *sings - money money money, i want moneyyy*

money minded child. bahs.

me: carol, soon friday, you want me to work?
carol: hmm, i'm not sure. siti, do you have enough staff for friday?
siti: (looking at me) why?
me: (grinning from ear to ear)
carol: if you need, then wani would work laa.
siti: kak, no no. don't ask her to work. asik nak kerja kerja kerja. go and rest, muka dah byk pimple tak cukup tidor.
me: whaaaaaattttttt... kerja pun salah kerrrr. but if you need me, well, you can just go over. hehs
siti: ya, later i shoot with bow and arrow.

lets' all together say, "AWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

so sweet, they care about me. hahaha. tapi part pimple tu, besar punya kurang perlu ahh eahk. haha. but seriously, my pimple break out ehkk, mintak last warning ahh. hahaha. bahhh, no choice. i slept for like what, 5-6 hours only per day? yes, i know... vey pathethic. and dun let me start on my dark eye rings, dull complexion and rashes. -______-

ok, im done. i'll inform if i'm deleting this MORE THAN PRECIOUS blog of mine.

lastly before i forget,
i miss you mr apiman. =)

busy ;

2009-01-28T16:33:00.003+08:00

urrrm...

what's the date today? 28th uh? alright, then its been only 4 days i've not update this-pretty-dusty-blog of mine. aha! toldcha' i've been extremely busssssy nowadays. haha. pretty tiring i must say but let's look on the bright side ehh, the $KA-CHING$ gonna drive me crazy! jyeahhhh mann! *sings-monaayy monnayyy monnaayyyy* lol!

but the tired-ness of standing despite its CNY or not, is so unbearable. i'm supposed to be OFF today for both jobbies. but hell yeahh, there's no one gonna do that 630am shift on the cafe side. bahhs. but oh well, i don't mind since i got the 4th HongBao today. nyeahehehehe. xp

actually, nothing much to update. just looking forward for the 4th Feb. eim, nak pakai baju apa eahk? HAHAHAHA.

till here then.

CINTA

mengapakah engkau begitu perit dalam keindahan?

mengapakah engkau sering menang didalam kekalahan?

mengapa engkau terlalu menyakitkan,

tetapi engkau juga yang menjadi bahan kebanggaan?

apakah definasi erti dirimu yang sebenar?

engkau mampu membahagiakan seseorang dengan segala keindahan,

tapi engkau juga mampu mengheret seseorang sehingga kecewa.

keindahan yang kau berikan mampu mengalpakan seseorang,

mampu memberi seribu satu erti akan perasaan yang bertandang,

mampu memberikan senyuman dan keriangan.

tetapi setibanya kekalutan itu,

musnah. punah. hancur. merana.

segalanya lenyap, tiada sinaran,

kegelapan juga yang muncul setelah kau merobekkan semuanya.

sanggup engkau menyentap segalanya setelah engkau penat menyemainnya.

apa lagi yang mampu kau lakukan wahai sang cinta?

aku takut.

kerna,

kaulah yang telah memberi aku segala kebahagiaan,

tetapi engkau jugalah yang menyentap segalanya dalam diam,

lalu membiarkan hatiku menjadi gersang akibat panahan itu.

terima yang teramat kasih, wahai sang Cinta.

outings ;

2009-01-24T11:06:00.007+08:00

woahh, i'm behind time man! haha. sorry, i was pretty busy lately, nahh-uh, not lazy ayee. but busy. kata business-woman. huahuahua. noo lahh, just that i'm caught up with both work and i'm busy reading books. hehs.

alright, 2 updates on the meetup with the Sistaaa(s) and the Friends.

since my 2nd sistaa, shasha yang baik hati dan tidak sombong (HAHA!), getting her extremely BIG BONUS which is way berlipat kali ganda than my tiny-miny bonus, we decide to have dinner at Pizza Hut! :) well, actually it was planeed even before she got her bonus laa kan cause she don't even know when is her bonus. so we dragged the other sistaaa along since its been MONTHS she never step into Jurong Point. haha. thank God the crowd was ohhkayyy. so we settle and bought some bites for ourselves.

my 1st sistaaa, Noi, was being so irritating with her table manners and ke-bingai-an nya. me and 2nd sistaa keeps on laughing non stop. well, its been months sice the 3 sisters went out together. so, a short gathering is still fun only we din invite the cousin cause i die2 thought he's working. bahhhs. sorry eim. hahahaha. anyway, being extremely adorable sister(s), me and 1st sistaa pay only 10 bucks and the rest of the payment was done by 2nd sistaa. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. :) by the way, kak, thanks for the 50 bucks. useful my doctor payment. bahss -____-'. tau tau je, time aku ada duit, start laa sini gatal situ gatal. geraaammm je! chet!

converstaion ;

me: eh kau nak beli Iced Choc pe nanti?
noi: ak ahh laa. tapi nanti.
(after walking around while waiting for 2nd sistaa by which she's late!)
noi: ehh beli skarang uhh.
me: tak mau laa, nanti nak mkn pizza hut kau nak terberak laa tu la ni laa.
noi: alah beli je la.
me: suarr ah kau. aku mintak kan LOW FAT MILK ahh .
noi: susu biasa laa bodoh. duit aku ke duit kau?
me: peduli apa aku. HAHAHAHA (and walks away)

hehs. nak kasi kurus taknak. ape je!

*****************************************************

next up, the outings with the FRIENDS to bowling yang tak menjadi, like AGAIN. bahhsss. so we, the usual clan, me wanie nisah fana fadH and aisyah had our early dinner at West Coast Park Mc Donalds. its been a while since we met fadH. pity fadH cause the plan for bowling always tak menjadi. hahahaha. as what nisah say, "kau dgn bowling takda jodoh ahh fadH!" hahahaha. betul betul betul. after which, fadG and aidyah needs to leave cause the GF got some tuition. and fadH promise us the next time we met, he'll stay with us till we go home. hahaha.

and the 4 of us was in dilemma cause we don't know where to go. kesiann sey kita, macam anak terbiar. hahaahha. so we sits around at the park before proceeding to IMM Secret Recipe by cab. thanks Nisah for the fare! hahaha. and tell you something, secret recipe service sucks big time yesterday. i don't know why they got the order all wrong when the crowd is pretty okay. we're so pissed off. we waited for like 20 minutes for the cake and another 15 minutes for our taste-less Iced Choc and another 10 minutes for Nisah's ice cream. wtf? goshh, i don't know whether i should step there anymore. bahhss.

and so, the rest of the day we just chat about the past. :) i missed them. outing soon okays. *winks*

alright, i think the next write up will be in a week time. HAHAHAHA. no one really reading like previous blog anyway. ohh some people just try very hard to know about my blog (PROBABLY) ehh wanie? hahahaha. dahh cukup da kemusnahan hidup aku, tak payah kau nak amik tau lagi. senang kata, kau dengan hidup kau ahh aku dengan hidup aku. happy? *middle finger up*

chalo!

that birthday bash ;

2009-01-18T20:43:00.008+08:00

yesterday, the 17th, was the greatest event for the month of Jan. lots of laughter and great fun.

its been super daymmmm loooong time since we gather to have some mini birthday celebration. i mean, for the family. so, the cousins decide to do a mini birthday celebration for our dearest aunty! :) and i knew she was pretty happy eventhough she say, "ape je korang!" HAHA. she's my Dad small sister who have been straining her eyes to sew our Baju Kurung and Kebaya! and not forgetting those curtains and many more. she's unbelieveably great! :) so, happy turning 40th yeahhh aunty! hehehe.

went to aunt and grandma house directly straight after work with the cousin, Eim. and once we reached there, wah wah wah, everyone is already munching on that Ritez Pizza! cheh!~ tak tunggu! so, with my uniform, i joined in munching 3 pizza and a few fried wings that Noi fried earlier at home. Eim can still change his top foe the sake of PANTAT! hahahahaha.

ohh since my cute grandma couldn't keep any secrets, my aunt gotta know that we are planning for the birthday bash. bahhh. nenek nie eahk, mintak kena seal ahh mulut! hahahaha. and so, my aunt bought the pizza since she mentioned that there's no food at home.

after munching those deliciously pizza, Nana and me decides to show up with the cake and small gift for her. and that's where she went, "Ape je korang ada cake2 nie semua!" and she kept on with her "Ape je". hahahaha. well, she blew the candle after we sang her Happy Birthday song! hahaha. and she went on opening 2 pressie, one from us (the whole clan of cousins and auntiessss and unclesss) , that Anne Klien watch and the other from Aunt Mala, a Bonia clutch. really hope she love the pressie. hahaha. quoted from Eims' dad, "Ehhh ni photographer paksa ni!" when me and Shasha forced her to pose with the cake and present! hahahahaha

oh yes, some of us sabo her. and she say, "korang nieeee!" hahahaha. first time seyy we do all this to her. hehs.

while eating, i asked Aunt Ezi on how her relationship worked out with my uncle! hahah. then my uncle paiiisseeeeyy lorrrr! so cute! after that my grandma sister drop by with her family. :)

next up, the planning of cousin outing to karaoke laa, to KL laa. macam2! last2 nanti tak jadi! hahaha. and Shidah was so ghairah that she mentioned she wanna take half-day from school cause big probabilities we're going on weekdays. and i was like "wahh! sejak bila secondary bleh amik half day ehk? hahaha kau fikir kau ITE kahh?" hahaha. so, they wanna decide on the theme. and some stupid idea come out from me like,

nana: ehh kita buat theme ahh nak go karaoke!
me: hahhh! kita pakai baju kurung ahh!
eim: ahhh! tak mau! aku dari sekolah! nanti leceh!
me: hahaha, tu kau punya pasal ahh.

HAHAHA. seriously, we talk ALOT and joke ALOT, with Pipi bloated tummy and he kept on saying, "ABANG DATANG SAYANG" which makes me somehow feels like vomitting! hahaha. all the marriage issues! Eim, with his fantasy in wanting to sleep over at my house for a week if Shasha's getting married and Pipi, wanted to follow my sis go honey moon. HAHAHAHHA. kekek ahh gua ckp sama lu. naik sakit pipi aku sak ketawa!

can't wait for the next gathering! but i dunno when. haa!

joke of the day.

me: ehhh apehal si 2 kiwi ni buat kat dalam bakul pisang?
noi: eh tu pisang dari kedai aku tau.
pipi: (in a serious tone) tak, memang standard pe it come with 2 balls.
me: macam siak! aku nak amik picture! pastu nak blog apa yang kau ckp.

nana: bukan gitu, gini laaa.
me: siakk ahh. lucah siak!
pipi: takpe, orang tak tau. cepat snap!
Mirah (lil' cousin) : ehhh buat smileyy face.
nan: ahh, ak ahh smiley face.
me: macam siakkkk. hahahaha

lucah betol gmbar nie. hahahaha.

till here baby! *winks*

permintaan terakhir ;

2009-01-16T16:18:00.003+08:00

since wednesday was my only off day, the BestF and I decides to have a lil' fun over at Sentosa. shayida took 2 days leave while girl, is done (like, finally) with her FYP. meet up with them early in the morning and we proceed to Long John Silver at ViVo to get our breakfast.

to cut it short, since i'm running for time to read my books (HAHAHA!) and somehow pretty much lazy, i'm not going to type everything here laa. =) just that, after sun-tanning (mcm understand) we proceed to................ where else, CashStudio. hehs. it was fun, singing extremely classic songs like gurindam jiwa, sejakku bertemu padamu and etc. HAHA. only that i'm no longer as menggelitis as before. sigh, i miss the very very first time i went there with the ITE Friends and BestF. that was totally the greatest moments i have. friends are all around, the EX was still there, watching that video along. bahhh, STOP REMINISCING for goodness sake! *bang my head*

so, here's some BORING pixxies aye. hahaha.

&& Gerl, i hope you like our basi present. but trust me, that cookie is not basi one okay! *winks*

mengapakah harus terjadi begini, ini balasan setelah kucurahkan..
biar kusimpan kenangan cinta kita, kan ku abadikan di alam hidupku..

rindu, aku terlalu rindukan diri mu..

working hard? ;

2009-01-12T17:20:00.004+08:00

not really. just filling up those empty slots before tears starts rolling and everything just crushed down like before. oh well, actually everything's starts to crush again last night. i can't be bothered whether or not i'm strong enough to carry on handling 2 jobs per day (sometimes), as long i'm free from having to think about all those memories. i prefer handling it this way rather than sitting down, doing nothing.

a few bunch of people have already know where i'm working at. and some keep asking me, 'ehh tak penat kerr? gila pe kau?" if i'm crazy, then i'll be at woodbridge hospital. :) i'm not crazy for sure. there's nothing wrong in earning extra bucks since i'm NOT having good pay and great jobs like sitting in an office or having a desk of my own. but still, Alhamdullillah for the amount i've got cause the very least my job didn't let me starve till the end of the month. :) i just need to do some work in order not to start thinking of *him. i thought it gonna work but no, cause at the very end of the day, before i close my eyes, i'll still have *him on my mind.

i know, i know, *he's attached. but so what? it's not that i want me being this way. well at least i did not 'haunt' him down cause i still have dignity and pride. i won't be approaching neither *him nor *his-love-of-his-life. cause i know how *his-love-of-his-life would feel if *his-EX keeps harping about the past and keeps haunting him. in other words, i DON'T WANT to be like *his-other-EX. well, i went through that situation, now i went through this situation. sigh. i can't even remember if ever i'm prepared for all this at the very first moment we are together cause i thought we're gonna stick but hell shit, things just need to fall apart. sickening. i'll just pray hard that i won't and never bump into them, at all.

by the way, i don't know why *his cousin asked for my number. oh well, i can't simply say, NO face to face. so, he took down my number and starts messaging. naahh, as long no nonsense gonna take place, i don't mind. and he knows that i still couldn't get over evrything yet. :)

i don't know why am i yacking about all this. maybe because i miss *him. fcuk laa.

dad is being extremely irritating by asking me a question by which he've already known or maybe half-known the answer. it's so irritating that i just need to raise my voice a bit a say, "YE AYAH...." in a sarcastic way. and there he goes mumbling to himself macamlah kononnya aku tak dengar, "nak jawab pun susah." -.- please someone, explain to me, which part of it that irritates me? abeh sekarang dia bingit ngan aku. mcm nangbueytinang abes sak. tak kuasa aku nak layan. see laaah! is it my fault if i'm being rude to him? menambahkan dosa aku yang bertimbun tau by being rude to him. Astaghfirullahhalazim.

*ahem-ahem*

//ps: shayida, that HOTTIE told me something, he said "ILY" to me. i couldn't believe my ears too. and i'll inform that BLONDE that you're interestd in him. ohh no, i'll tell my HOTTIE about it and he'll pass the message exclusively for you, my dearest. no worries, me and HOTTIE won't disturb you and that BLONDE. i mean, you mentioned to me that that BLONDE is way HOTTER than my HOTTIE, so i'll walk an extra mile just for you. :) no, i'm not and never would be jealous of you and that BLONDE. never. well, what are FRIENDS for. :) may you'll be happy with him cause i'm very sure he's currently single. ouch! that's extremely sweet since both of you are not attached. till here then BestFriend, my HOTTIE called and we're going for a date later on. i'll update you about that BLONDE, soon! i know you can't wait! me too! wuuhoo! i need to get some delicious cookies from my HOTTIE. xoxo.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

HHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!
(inside joke)

that shopping trip ;

2009-01-08T13:56:00.002+08:00

ok, now i'm left with zeeeerroooooooo dollars. *slaps forehead*

after FORCING my sistaa to take urgent leave, the following day was awesomely AWEEESOME! hahaha. meet up with the other darling at Dover before proceeding to Pak Mus house to grab SOME things. hehs. since it was sistaa first experience, she was awweeeeeeed by the cheap things over there. oh well, like me during my first trip. hahs! and so being her, she spent the highest amount among us when actually she mentioned that she's only left with 50 bucks! haha. bought some stuff for myself like new facial wash that is bloody expensive, Nakinomoto (HAHAHAHAHA! i'll tell you what it is, if it works on me) and vitamins. ouhh, let me tell you something. if you read my sistaa blog, she mentioned buying the New Moon Bird Nest thingy? ahhhh, she forgot to mention that I'M the one who carry that bloody thing man! damn, imagine carrying that thing the whole day on your shoulder? pfffft...........

next up, Siam-ing at Siam Kitchen. ahahaha. first experience for cousin but hell yeah, he love the food there. pretty affordable eyyy. after filling our tummy-mummy, we went shopppppingggg at Bugis. Sha, BUGIS VILLAGE ehh kak, bukan GEYLANG. wakakakaka. main hembus je aku. haha. bought pretty much a lot of stuffs. haha. i feel extremely sinful. haha. getta grab a jeans, few Tees, a black pump for work and a nice B**** (HAHA!) after much rounding, we decide to went home since cousin and me are having extreeeemmmeee shoulder-ache due to the stuffs we bought. fuhhhh! and lastly, we went CK to find 'hot stuffs' for cousin. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

at night, i asked sistaaa to do a lil' massage on my body. awwwww, feels better now. thanks kak! and please dont tell anyone how DIFFICULT it is for me to try on jeans. HAHAHAHAH. sampai terpelanting2 anting2 aku, siap dengan sesak nafas! hahahahaha should go shopping again next time! eim, nect trip, your bonus? OK GO! *winks*

alright, i'm off for another work. chowz!

06 Jan 09'

2009-01-07T07:00:00.003+08:00

after much COUNT-LESS patience in waiting for public holiday and weekends, finally my pay came rolling in baby! hahaha. ok, sounded pathethic but i'm freaking broke for the past week lorr. thank God i have a few bucks left from the doctor balance. and i even have to use up my RM10 Brunei notes to buy dinner for my 1-hour break. :(

but oh well, 6 Jan 09 have plastered me with a smiling face nearly half of the day! haa! no, not about 'that'. duhhh. its about moneyy babyy. haha. i couldn't believe my eyes after checking Brian's pay for him and next, mine. haha. i so thought my bonus gonna be on the next pay but jyeahhhh, it 'ka-ching' on the 6th, together with my pay. nyeahahahaha. okay, okay. not boasting laa, its not a huge sum like some people have it in 1-3 months pay. but enough for me to save and splurge, not forgetting giving some to my parents. and guys, you should see how Amirul and Brian reactions. HAHAHA. funny i tell you.

mirul: ehh wani, pizza hut uhh. kfc pun ok.
brian: ahhh, sembarang uh.
me: ehh, malunya aku dengar.
mirul: yelahhh aku sedih sey brian. aku taulah siapa aku nie.
brian: *rubbing amirul's back* dahlah, sabar ehh mirul.

HAHAHAHAHA. muka serious eahhkk. hahahaha. to the extent of Brian taking my red wallet from the cabinet while i'm at main store taking my EMC and put it inside the display cup on top od the merchandiser. hahahaha. macam siak! :) and i'm so happy that i used up my incentive to buy cafe drinks for the people at my other work place. hahahaha. glad they like it. for the other two? i bought old chang kee's curry puff. hahahahahahahahahhaha.

why i'm happy? because the past nearly 4 years working at my previous workplace, selling chicken, i did not even get any extra money after putting in hardwork. actually, i do get from the manager due to i-don't-know-where-the-money-come-from but to compare with how WE work as part timers, i think its pretty ridiculous. HAHA. but still, Alhamdulillah. despite 08's being extreme bitch towards my feelings, nonetheless, 08' allow me in making a lot of bucks for myself. :)

anyway, did i told you that my ringworms are getting wayy much much better after visiting the doctor and spending $75 on the medication? :) worth it. but what the hell?! now my hands starts itching. no, not because i've received few ka-chings. its all because my hands are getting drier due to the washing of plates and cups using the APC detergent. it really irritates me, a lot. thanks Umi for the intense hand lotion you've given me. i really need it and i hope it'll get better. sigh. i keep having testers from my workplace which somehow makes me feel bad. bahs. ouh yeah, still waiting for the other pay. hee. pssstt, sekali that bonus plus pay tu, dah campur dgn pay lagi satu eahk? hahahahahahhaaha. hopefully NO. but kalau iye pun, takpelahh. but it shows some signs that i WOULD BE visiting the doctor again, cause i'm already scratching my hands away ~ ~

despite my ringworms recovering, my face is totally bombard with pimpiessss. yes, pimples. and i'll tell you what's next. dryness around my cheecks and nose area. after that? rashes. then pimples then dryness again. ahh, takpun tembel. sort eahk? -__________-'

anyway, gonna go cuci mata on THINGS with sistaaaa (by which, i FORCED her to take urgent leave. HAHAHAHAHA ) and cousin! kakak aku siang2 da suruh aku blanja makan. dasarrrrrrrrrrrr.

ok till next entry, IF i'm free. hehs. :)

once again, THANK YOU GOD for the things you've showered me with,

eventhough you've seperated me with the person that i really love, for now. :)

2009?

2009-01-02T19:34:00.003+08:00

i'm gonna play out with boys' heart until they fall in love with me. then i wanna spend all those bucks they have to buy stuffs that i want. i want to stick to them like there's no tomorrow. i'm gonna date a guy after another. then, i'll slowly take my leave on every each one of them after they fall deeply in love with me, and i'll give the reason ;

oohh dearest, i'm just having my round(S) of fun and i aimed to hurt LOTS of guys this year. too bad you're just one of those guys that i would just ditched baby! so, let's see how you mend it. haa!

my NEWEST AND LATEST RESOLUTION. amaciiiaaaaammmm? *winks*

HAHAHAHAHAHA. WANI?? DOING ALL THAT?? WAIT LONG LONG SIA. hahaha, but then, i wished i could. hahaha. for the sake of whatever the reason is. bahhhhs. tapi takmau laaa, later *insert Alicia's song - Karma* eeeeeeeee, takot! selisih malaikat 44. heeee. =)

yeah, i know i'm slightly LATE for whatever-kononnyer-resolution and blah blah blah. haa! every year, NEW resolution. then what happened to last year resolution? takmau bilang aku korang dapat achieve eahkk. amaran terakhir! hehs. because i think only 2 out of 10 person have achieve it. hahaha.

anyway, on the way home from work, saw a colleague of mine wayyy back in 2004 during KFC time. HAHAHA;

me: azim kan?
azim: akkk ahhh. asal wani makin kurus?
me: mana ada. haa!

kuruuuuuussss? apa dia potek-kahhhh? ahahahaha. perangai maintain ehh member, ada perempuan pat depan mata pon sempat cuci mata. HAHAHA. dasar! ubah resolution baru sikit ehhh! -___-'

alright, gotta watch MAS DENISE KU ahhh! ahhhhhh asiiiiiiikkkkk~ *winks*

telah sekian lama sayang, ku pahat namau dihati

birthdays

2008-12-31T15:18:00.003+08:00

tell you something.

i'm so NOT gonna take any straight annual leave anymore. damn! its freaking boring. basically its only the parents at home. the sisters is either working late or out. almaklumlah, kakak kakak aku nie, PANTANG ada public holiday or OFF, mesti nak berambus. tu pun masih nak cakap BORING. ntahh apa apa aje. *roll eyes*

i'm absolutely BORED hokays. part nie lah menyesal betol kalau takda BF. cheh! anyway, did you guys watched Suci at Sensasi? Ya ALLAH, kren banget laa si Mas Denise tu. waduhh waduhhh, gue terpikat dehh sama dia. *faints* but Shasha say Bayu is much more handsome. Na-uhh *with the index finger moving left and right*, DENISE LORRR YANG KREN BANGET. nak boleh? hehs.

went to the doctor (AGAIN) earlier on, waited for like 1.5 hours? bahsss. but i really like the doctor, i mean she listen to what i say and try to suggest somethings like, "try to sit and think, what usually makes you itch? what are the things that can be dirtied easily?" hahaha. semua aku complain. :) and the amount? hehehehe. $75. *faints 2 times* wah wah wah. melayang hoh my money. :/ but let's see, who knows it'll get better. while waiting, my mind starts to fly to some place. won't state it here. only me and Shida know. sigh. i wished.

and the conversation on phone with shidah for like 45 minutes, was pretty good. :) we talk about new resolutions and hers' was like WHATEVER. haha! well, have to admit that eventhough she can be a pain in my ass or both of us always have this misunderstanding, she's still there to advice. and the irritating part was when she kept reminding me "ITS BEEN 8 MONTHS!" tu part, macam nak masokkan kasut sak dalam mulut dia. HAHAHA. might be meeting her later since BOTH of us are the only soul(s) that's not attached! bahsssss. jangan last minute dia bilang aku dia nak gi countdown dengan si GMS tu sudahh. -.-

the other one? ouhh, let's do some shout out. "HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!" jyeahh, it's Gerl birthday. awwww, she's 20! hehs. thought of meeting her but oh well, i nearly forgot that our baby-girl here have to spend time with the bf. :) but whatever it is, may you be happy always ayee! :))) don't be like your two other ~~sisters~~bestfrens. semuanya asik tak jadi! hahaha.

should be till here then. this is so random. i wanna blog about other thing, but..... sigh.

bye.

ku lempar segala kesalan, demi cinta padamu

walaupun aku, bisa tenggelam

mungkin terkubur dalam kelemasan.

chalet 08'

2008-12-29T10:57:00.007+08:00

woke up verrry earrrly to the shouting of Nur Hidayah (1st Sis) and Hamidah (Mom). tell you, super irritating lorr. *roll eyes* so, got up and did some cleaning before heading to ROTI DJ to buy a lil' breakfast for myself. waited for the rest to get ready for the family chalet the we proceed to the usual cab we normally booked.

after nearly 45minutes journey, at last we reached Bungalow 12, Laughing Thrush.

meet up with the usual clan. it was pretty boring at first, hence we decided to go to the arcade. HAHAHA. so much of the Para-Para and $10 fifty-cents coin. HAHAHAHA.

then, the arcade FAILED to make us happy and they cheat our money lorrr. so we proceed back to our room to lepak awhile before heading out to Ehub and Downtown for some refreshments from Mcafe. hehs. the journey was extremely tiring hokays. its like 6538656945654465km laaa. and we saw 'makmenting' ke apa ntah, eh Mira? mana aja kau tau nama binatang kejadah tuu eahk?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

a VERY TRAGIC incident happen to one of us while in Mcafe. VERY and EXTREMELY TRAGIC. hahaha. 'ahhh, nie mesti orang yang baju hijau tu tau yang bau' -quoted by IDA. hahahaha! at last, sapa eahkkk yang hamis? LOL! *winks*

we walked back before the rest starts playing card games, which of course, ne being the spoiler always did not join along. instead i'm trying out with Lyn AMP Nikon cammiee. hahaha. later around 5 or 6, we head to the beach to relax. pretty amazing view i must say. =)

then, at last the BBQ starts. din really get to taste all the BBQ food since my tummy is freaking bloated. so i do skip some food laa kan. kalau tak, tak tau lahh apa yang akan terjadi pada perot aku. hahaha. next, we proceed to swimming pool! no, i just rendam my legs laa. only the semangat Ida bermandi manda. hahaha.

after berendam, we went back to eat and decides where to go next although some of us are already yawning non stop. hahaha. and we, me shasha noi ida lyn mira faizal, decides to look for Prostitute and Bapoks. haha. but end up, faizal drove us to Old Changi Hospie. kanasai. me and sis(s) felt pretty unusual laa since we never do this before. but let me tell you, even before Faizal went inside the lane, it really send me some kind of chill down my spine. i look down all the way. when i look up and peep, i just saw total darkness. Thank God, Mira ask Faizal to drove out. siaoooo ahh korang! main gila!

then, we proceed to mount faber, (urghh! among all places! memories! memories!)before proceeding to LORONG GEYLANG. hahaha. best oi tengok pelacur! i mean my first encounter lorr. issshhh, i can't believe my eyes laa.

me: ehh! tu pun pelacur kan?!
them: mana? mana?
me: tu laa pat traffic light!
ida: mana! aku tak nmpak pun.
mira : ehh alias kadir!
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
ida: korang nie, aku tak tau sak aku nak tgk pelacur ke nak tgk alias kadir.
me: hahahahahah. ahh tuuu. sial ahh, boops dia besar sak.
faizal: mana? fuyoohhhh! hallelujah!
me: siallll ahh kau zal! HALLELUJAH kapa!
ida: ehh Hallelujah tu apa?
me: -.-

mcm sial kan perangai kita! hahahaha. kecoh sak dalam van. hahaha. and like usual, the MOM keeps calling in and we need to proceed back home. bahssss! so we reached chalet around 130am before we went zZzZz.

we checked out around 11 the next day. and thanks Faizal for driving us home. =)

(not the full squad. hahaha)

-------------

and this babies is so extremely cuteeeee despite the CRIES which makes me so URGH! haha.

when i gotta noe his name, i told my sis and cousin that i'm so not gonna call him by his name. i'll only call him, BABY. hahaha. why? cause among all names, my cousin decides to give him the name which i used to adore last time, HUSSAINY. bahhsssssss. *sob sob* still, he's such one cutey pie. awwwwww~

ahhh, this one keeps on crying and crying for i don't know what reason okays. hahaha. but somehow she resembles Noi face laa kan, Rashiqah? hahaha.

the siblings. that adorable Danial who i really love to see his face. sooo adorable although he keeps crying too. hahaha. and that's his Big Sis, Aisyah, wholove to eat Onions like no one business, and the Big Brother, Taufik aka Abg BIBO. hahahahahahaha.

Lastly, the one and only DANDAN with his urrrmm, photogenic smile? hahahaha. stop it ehh Rashdan. haha

-------------

and we've already know who is CIK ANON. betol punya ANONYMOUS ehh Abg Izan. chet! tak pasal2 kami menuduh orang yang tak bersalah. aiseyyyyman! hahahaha

one last thing, let's play guessing game okays!

GUESS WHOSE??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHA.

cintamu penawar sepiku, ungakapan akhir lahir di bibirmu, cinta palsu.

2008-12-24T18:53:00.003+08:00

...namun rindu ku ini semakin mendalam
Kasih di hati nyala bagai bara
Teguhnya tangkai bagai cinta ku
Namun berbunga hampa
Pedihnya ku hadapi perpisahan

Biarpun harapanku telah hancur berderai
Kan ku hiasi kenangan ku laman rindu...

i've been 'reading' some rumours, but i don't even know how true it is. yes, it cuts me deeply but i can't do anything. nothing can change. i know it've been month(S) since everything happened, but i can't get over everything. it's never easy to forgo some~~thing~~one you REALLY love. i AM really tired of sighing, whinning about all this, trust me but there's nothing i could do. i've always wanted to shut this mouth of mine but i can't. i would feel extremely terrible if i do. i don't wanna cry anymore. my eyes no longet can take all those tears. i know moving on is the best remedy, but how could i when everything's still stay vividly in my mind and heart? i know he've already move on. prolly, he's happy now with the 'perfect girl' that he've been searching for. only me, still stuck in the past and could no longer see the future, yet. sigh.

whatever it is, i still miss you. very very much. no one could understand how i feel towards you, no one. it's so painful to see you with someone else. too and extremely painful. i rather shot myself with a gun instead of going through this broken heart thingy. to tell you the truth, i'm too hurt with you that i'm not opening my heart towards other guys. not now. i'm too scared to fall and get trapped in LOVE and in the end, getting hurt. i don't know till when you're gonna stay in my heart. i'm looking forward for the day that i've clean forgotten about you. like what Hazreen say, "i believe, one day you will talk about some other guy instead of him."

*tears*

*
*
*

life have been super hectic this week, and i know i've been ignoring this blog. i'm physically and mentally drenched of tiredness. due to lack of sleep, i'm getting this on and off headache but Alhamdulillah, i'm still healthy. only that i've got some ringworms and rashes on my face and neck. NOT because i'm dirty or what eh, the ringworm is due to the extreme sweat when i'm doing 630am shift. rashes? as per normal, monthly routine.

looking forward for chalet this weekend. (psst, its been a year since the last family chalet that i remembered i 'fought' with him. sigh, another memory eahk.)

till here then.

... people asked me to move one ;

2008-12-16T17:28:00.005+08:00

one word ; DISGRACE

one question ; where's your dignity and pride?

*shakes head*

i'm not here to talk bad about all this partygoers cause i know i DO NOT enjoy life as much as they do, but trust me, i'm fully content with how i live my life right now. i mean, i think you should know the limit towards everything. like, if you wanna drink, by all means. but not to the extent whereby you can't even handle your own liquor and make yourself look like some idiots when you're wayy too drunk. see? you even dump yourself that way *as above picture* when your drunk. worst, some even did all the smooching in public. like HELLO? call me old-fashioned and conservative. i don't even care. c'mon, go book a hotel would you? sigh. its very very sad to see this. i'm so very sure i get to see the world end soon, real soon.

i know i'm not as good as an angel or even prophet, or maybe a pious person, but i personally think that, if you wanna do shit, do it in private. there's no reason for you to smooch all over in public because its sickening. bahhs.

enough of partygoers, work was pretty fine earlier on. why? because i worked with kak yati, the beanie that understands how i feel. *both eyebrows moving up and down* haa! hope that the batam trip would NOT be cancel. so as usual, being her, working with me would just distract her from getting longer hours in selling coffees. nyeahs! so we both punch out at 130pm and walk around the mall aimlessly. haha. not really aimlessly, more to searching for Old White Town Coffee or something like that. hee. the we just proceed home despite the crew kept asking us to go for the outing nearby. i know kak yati really wanna go, but it doesn't really interest me much cause majority of the beanies are working and most of the crew who went for the outing are New Crew. -.- boriiiing eahhhh.

guess what? i woke up at 615Am just now when my shift is actually at 630AM. i remembered i off the alarm and i thought of taking a short 1 minute nap but it turned out to be 1 hour nap. HAHAHA. and i was like, how come shasha's alarm is ringing and i'm still here. time check, 615AM. "AHHH! AKU LAMBAT! MAMPOS!" hahahhaha. called in, and thank god it's hermi. and thank GOD, the bus did not decide to become a bitch during that time and i still managed to open the shutter at 7Am! hahaha. so let's consider i'm not late laa. hahaha.

all right. need to do some 'Please don't stop the music'. HAHAHA. only certain people would know that. shhuusshh.

ps: i met someone, again.

...but how could it be possible, when every night i think about you, and no one else ;

... dulu aku kau sayang, kau menyintai ku sepenuh hatimu ;

2008-12-15T16:24:00.005+08:00

HAPPY 56th BIRTHDAY, AYAH.
the one and only Dad which is very and extremely annoying but still, the one whom i can tell my problems too. present hutangggg okays? hehs!

sometimes i just find men, irritating. what i meant was the SICK one. in particluar, sick in the BRAIN. there's this one malay uncle whom i thought would be a normal uncle laa kan. but he kept looking at me and smile, while i'm washing the dishes. those who knew where i worked at, should be able to recall the sink area, whereby the customer could sit there and peep through the glass panel and see what the beanies are doing. in other words, KEPO-ing laa. i wasn't in the mood every morning because it is very tiring to do that 630Am shift, so normally i won't smile at people unless they are my regular(s). so i've got this sial-ahh-aku-ngantok face and i was doing my usual routine like mopping, changing the water and such. when i'm out to get the mop, he wad like looking at me and saying something. and like normal, i'll ignore laa. then when i'm returning the mop, he say something like, "penat?", and i just walked off when i heard he asked himself, "melayu ke cina nihh?" HAHA. i know, maybe you guys thought he's being caring, but its irritating with his fcuking annoying smile lorrrr! and last saturday, i heard him saying "nasi lemak takda ke?" when i walked past him. i was like -.- honestly, i feel like saying, "pakcik, tolong ehkkk, duduk diam2 kat rumah, jangan nak ganggu orang." weiyee told me that he's once being chased out of main store because a customer complaint that he scratched his dick a few times.

EEEEEEEWWWWWW!

-.-

most of the full time beanies feel kinda pissed with the current change of the schedule. the RM keeps employing, leaving the full timers with lesser hours to work. what the hell. the cafe manager kinda pissed off too. bahsss. irritating shark.

ouhh, cousin saw someone at zoukout. see, i told you. sentosa is wayyy too small honey. kenapa ehh takda ribut ke taufan on that day eahhk? pelik.

hehs.

out.

..dan berjanji, takkan sakiti aku, janji menjadi janji ;

...jika aku terpaksa, sehidup memendam rasa ;

2008-12-12T16:59:00.007+08:00

Friendster's Zodiac Astrology - Libra

"The response you have been waiting a long time for is going to arrive today, and it will leave you feeling pretty darned delighted! As soon as you get the news, you need to find a way to share your happiness with the people who make you happiest! Plan something around food -- a small dinner party, potluck, or even a big table at a fancy restaurant would work, if everyone can afford it. Make sure you don't make people ante up too much to spend time with you."

Let me tell you the truth whether or not you should believe all this.

There's NO such thing as the RESPONSE i've been waiting is gonna arrive TODAY. crap. bullshit.

so much of that delighted feeling. ohh, grammar error. i've forgot to mention, 'so much of the DARNED DELIGHTED feeling' ehs? darn good brownie adalah! hakktuiii!

AS SOON AS YOU GET THE NEWS? not even A GOOD NEWS can turn me as happy as a toad singing in the rain. as soon ehs? bahhss.

horoscope, sememangnya, kau bodoh ok. stop showing in my Friendster profile can? *roll eyes*

and now tell me, just what's wrong with me? haa! i don't know, it just pissed me off reading this ridiculous horoscope. whatever. whatever.

at last, few burdens from applying new Posb card for mama to making new keys to clearing the junks inside my dads' mailbox is DONE. kalau tak buat, selagi tu laa hidup aku nie asyik ada non-stop-hits nya techno songs. sort je.

worrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk have been pretty 'guai' lately eventhough i've been doing 630am shifts nearly everyday. but the past 2 days was awesome. why? cause i've been working with my one and only partner in crime cousin! nyeahs! been story telling during the whole shift yesterday. awesomely geeerrreeekk. hahaha. cousin, i've never regret in letting you working with US, especially ME, despite the longkang latte or such. cause the very least, i can ramble and let my steam off on you since you know the 'people' in particular. haha. *winks* and you know what, there's no such thing as Bibah okays? its Sara. beza nya amat ketara eahkk. sila check hawa pendengaran bokna. *ketawa kuat kuat sekali sampai bulu hidung kau gugur* and, i'll practise on my walking thingy. hahaha. kureng betol!

earlier at work when cousins came down;

me: ehh eim, later don't forget to dance from one end to the other okays. and if you saw, just step on the toe or pinch the butt.
eim: taknak laahh.
nana: kita tanam dia berdiri ahhh.
eim: taknakk.... dia tinggi sangat.

HAHA. some won't understand what i mean. but i won't elaborate. :)

i think i'm down with a tembel on my right eye, SOON. is there anything i can do before it get worst? i'll look scary if it pop out. bahhsss. and my 'ringworm' is still there despite after taking all those medicine. just when am i gonna be totally and extremely cured from this eczema. sickening nak mampos ehs.

meet up with sistaa, Shasha. just wanna let you know, Jurong Point is soooooooo biiiiiiiiigggggg! aaaaaahhhh! i mean it's going to look like somehow what, i say, VivoCity? wahh. sangat cool. shasha and me was totally awwed for the shop(s) there. hah! and we were like, "ehhhhhhh, emphosis! ehhhh, osmose! ehh, bakerzin! " all the way from the moment we start walking. hahahaha. when i reached home, i even ask her, "Sha, tadi aku balik dari Vivo ke dari Jp uhh?" Nyeahahahahahaha. :)

an old friend of mine text-ed me last night, asking me;

him: gal, besok kau free?
me: working.
him: wani, why are you always busy with working seyy?

& i can't be bothered to reply. stupid question.
or can i say? because of some Jerks like You. bahsssssssss.

out baby!

ps: sapa2 going zoukout, aku harap akan hujan selebat lebat mungkin atau pun, apa2 lahh yang buruk yang boleh terjadi. HAHAHA. mampus korang!

...tentu engkau pun tahu, sebabnya hatiku terluka ;

...kesunyian ini terlalu indah ;

2008-12-10T16:03:00.004+08:00

nothing much done at home since its my OFF day. just some cleaning and cooking before they starts saying, "kau nie iza, hangat2 tahi ayam laa." duhh. not that i don't wanna cook or what, just that i don't even know what to cook or whether Mama have the stuffs that i wanna cook. get it? hahs.

at last, i'm done with one book. it took me a week plus before i can read it finish. haha. partly lazy, but more to insufficient time. nyeahs! i've got one more book to go before it due on the 15th, (and that's Ayah birthday.) oh well, talking about birthday, what should i get for him? kak, any ideas?

read this 2 extremely gorgeous lady blogsite and let me tell you, they are so freaking G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S! envy laa okays! perfect skin, perfect features, perfect body, perfect height! everything is just wayy too0 perfect. sigh. sometimes i wonder what if........... ahhhh! i just hate how low my self-esteem and confidence are. i wanna be pretty too. =(

random. bye.

...tetapi tidak seindah hari yang aku tempuhi bersama mu ;

...perasaan hati tidak pernah akan tenggelam ;

2008-12-09T17:12:00.004+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA

(kak, i just can't help it, i always want to say aidil-LADA. hahs!)

hari raya haji wasn't as fun as previous. i don't know why, maybe its just me. but overall, its still great having a reunion again after Raya. extremely LOADS of food and seriously, i think i'm gaining tonnes of fats already. bahs. with all the nasi-segala-nasi, ayam, satay, nasi ayam and etc, i'm very sure i've gain a lot. -.-

can i just buy cough syrup from the clinic? cause i think my cough haven't been cured fully and the syrup reallllly help me to sleep earrrrly. jyeahh, i've been getting enough sleep lately, all thanks to that medicine. but then, despite the 8 hours of sleep, i still feel very sleepy la seyy. especially when i need to wake up at 5 am. shucks. and its already a ROUTINE for me to wake up at 5 am every Monday Tuesday Thursday and sometimes Friday. hahs. -.-

the schedule that i've planned don't really go my way. bahs. nahh, i'm okay with it (for the time being). cause like what the Cousin says, "ahhh, nanti last2 kau sakit satu minggu, time tu aku datang bawak bunga lepas tu aku minum air coffee bean sebelah kau." hahaha. kau punya kurang ajar mintak kena last warning! hahaha. and please ehh, stop mixing drink with that small plain water cup hokays! hahaha. *winks*

alright. till here then. i don't really know what to updates. sorry guys! =)

...kerana hati tidak pernah akan dapat membenci ;

forgo ;

2008-12-05T18:15:00.004+08:00

it was a sad goodbye for the family. tears rolling down, seeking for forgiveness before reaching the 'holy land of Mecca'. hugs exchange before leaving. despite having to stay inside the packed airport with some Unreasonable creatures, we still stay till they've really gone from our sight. sigh. it was really a moment by which you can see how strong the bonding is eventhough there's some hiccups along the way in living our normal life.

"semoga selamat sampai dan selamat mengerjakan ibadah Haji. Amin. "

next up, went out with Shasha, the sistaa, to Vivo to search for her handbag and my pants. let's cut it short alright? haa! dearest Cousin tag us till we reach home from airport. drop by at big sistaa workplace before heeding home to buy some drinks. after some make ups, we proceed to Vivo to search for my pants. and thanks EMPHOSIS for that EXPENSIVE pants. bahhh. -.- oh well, after much walking, we settle down at Starbucks for some coffees before we decide to call it a day by hailing a cab back to Jalan Bahar. (urgh, among all places! looks like i WOULD need to go there often uhhh. bahhhh.) anyway, thanks cousin for the altering issue. hehs. =) out again aye next time!

sidetrack ;
getting the hang of it. =) let's just say its pretty tiring.
i saw someone again today. =)) i don't know why, but it just makes me happy. cause i've been praying to bump into her again without any reason. weird? i think so too. oh well, hope to bump into her again. =)

i'm down with SERIOUS RASHES on my FACE. among all places, why must it be on the FACE? bahhh. everyone is like asking me what's wrong with my face. and its like super annoying to me cause it's so fugly. doctor told me to change my cleanser. and that cleanser is like 20 bucks. what the hell? and the moisturizer is like 30 bucks. sighh. die die i need to buy it. cannot tahan!

till here then. i've put my taggie back, so do tag ayeeeee loveliesss!

forgo the whole issue, eventhough it's NOT easy.
- insert Justin song : what goes around, comes around -
- insert Alicia song : karma -

goodbyes ;

2008-12-02T20:48:00.006+08:00

"semoga ALLAH SWT melindungi perjalanan pulang dan pergi mu ke tanah suci. akan iza doakan semoga kamu berdua selamat sampai ke tanah suci dan mudah melaksanakan segala 'tugas' yang wajib dilakukan. Amin."

dumbfounded.

how hurt can i be?

i MUST believe i can cause i can feel the strength that GOD have given me after my prayers.

insyaallah.

2008-12-01T16:55:00.002+08:00

bagai nak luruh jantungku ini.

honestly, i just wanna sleep and i don't wish to wake up anymore.

i wanna bang my head so that i can forget everything, everything.

aku penat, Ya Allah Swt.

Ya Allah Swt, aku mohon, aku mohon, beri kan aku kekuatan itu semula.

:'(

2008-11-30T19:28:00.006+08:00

saturday was totally awesome. I've really enjoyed the honest laughter that you can only get from them, The Cousins. I feel extremely glad to have Lyn, Mirah and Ida as part of my life by BLOOD. =) Meaning, nothing can ever seperate us. Nyeahaha. Cheesy!

from harbour front, we went to sentosa for some walk and camwhore before heading to coffee bean to chill. bought their mocha mint ice blended and double chocolate muffin while other bought cakes and pure choc. we chill for hours before heading to newton to have our dinner.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Fcuk! Fcuk! Fcuk! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
(inside joke)

i seriously think, Newton isn't as great as what people always mentioned. service wise, SUCKS (exclude Pirate shop lady) everyone there just stinks. from the stall owners to those selling tissues. i don't think i wanna go there again. maybe if i do, with a guy or bigger clans of people. bahhh. i still hate that chinese guy from stall 70+. sucker!

from newton, we proceed to clarke quay to have drinks at coffe club. everyone couldn't decide where to go, so we just chill over at coffee club. from there we proceed back home by cab while the other three by train. thank goodness my sistaaa paying for the cab fare. =))

and anyway, thanks cousins for the lovely gift. pretty sure it'll help me a WHOLE LOT ehkk. hahahaha. Shhhhhhh.

moral of the day; NEVER USE SHASHA KAPPA PUMP SHOES ANYMORE. bahhh. i'm down with 4 blisters and some idiots just need to make it worst by pushing that baby tram over it. perangai macam mother of all V.

conversation with amirul;

me: siakk ahh. seriously ahh aku mcm nak rendam muka aku dengan air panas sak
him: asal sial? kau suffer depression pe sak?
me: taklah, aku nya muka gatal seyy.
him: wani, aku rasa kau cepat-cepat booked date for consultation ahh sebelom terok.
me: kurang ajar pe kau.

****

him: eh wani, kau tak nak potong rambut ke?
me: asal ehk? aku nak kasi panjang ahh.
him: takk ahh. berserabai sak rambut kau. dah macam maid.
me: hahahhaha. aku peduli apa.
him: wani! kerja semua dah abis?
me: -.-

see, dia punya kurang ajar. hahahahahaha. but still, the joker at work. =)

till here.

real love ;

2008-11-27T12:13:00.004+08:00

just let this smiley face tell you about my current expression okay ;

:) = $$$

but to think back, by the end of the day, my expression would be this ;

(-.-) = ZzZ

haha, gonna keep this a secret till i've gotten the hang of it. those who know, like the Family, just keep quiet okays? hehs.

spent the whole day at home cleaning here and there before watching Marah Marah Sayang, (like again?) and meeting up with that cousin if mine to buy stuffs for the Big Sis.

meet him at 2 at the usual place and went straight to Wallet Shop to get for Noi the wallet for her Birthday. :) Find for her those cheap ones but all the design like -.- and so, i bought for her something more than my actual budget. hehs. then off to find some other things. and i can't believe that he bought SO MANY THINGS IN ONE DAY! hahahaha. i was like,

me: ehh eim, aku musykil ahh. nak cakap kau kerja, macam kerja tak kerja. tapi duit ada nak beli barang.

him: save sikit2 ahh. ehh kau jangan bilang 'hupak' kau tau!

me: taknak lah. once aku buka pintu rumah je, terus aku nak bilang.

him: perangai takmau macam pukimak ehh.

me: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

seriously, i need to go out with him MORE so that i can just laugh and laugh. like how we gonna show the lecturers that new slippers to checking out the THIS FASHION clothings to gossiping about his 'friends'. absolute fun eventhough the meeting place was like PATHETHIC. hahaha. anyhoos, redeem for Noi cheesecake for her birthday treats. pretty glad she likes my gift. haa! :)

looking forward for this few events ;

Saturday 29th - outing with the Mentel plus Selenger Clan! The Girl Power of course!

Wednesday 3rd - sending dearest uncle and aunty off to airport then off to town-ing with sistaa!

Monday 8th - gathering for Hari Raya Haji = COUSINS = YEAY!

Saturday 27th - Chalet with Mama side.

and i'm still looking forward for the short Batam-Getaway-Trip with Sistaa and Kak Yati, plus the Escape Theme Park outing which MIGHT be planned by the Friends. Ouhh, by the way, do informed me very very early if you guys planning for it aye.

alright, gonna sell coffees later. chiaoz!

B u s y . B u s y . B u s y . B u s y .

(sometimes i wonder, if i'll be this busy, how am i gonna find time for a relationship? hehs. ahh, family first. sole priority. besides, everything is not done yet. currently, CLOSED. i purely believe in what ALLAH SWT have planned for me. :) )

this blog might be dead again, one fine day. hahs.

2008-11-25T16:57:00.003+08:00

actually, i..... err..

ahhh, forget it. you won't feel it anyway.

cooking ;

2008-11-23T17:10:00.003+08:00

sunday was spent at home. cause if i were to work today, they would have to pay me double and i think RM won't agree to it. -.-

and so, i decided to spent half of the day helping with the cooking. messaged mama the night before to wake me up once she reached home, by which she claimed she's doing overtime. *clearing throat* and ta-daaaaa! i'm fully awake at 8am. i was all hyped to do the cooking that i told mama all payment would be done by me. why? cause i don't want them to complain that i've wasted their money if my cooking sucks. all the better if i'm using my money cause they can't complaint. nyeahahaha.

after much changes in the decision making the night before, heh macam faham, i've decided to cook Ayam Kicap and Fish/Sotong Balls with Soft Tofu Soup. ahhhh~ asked noi for some changes in order to double up the recipe. indeed, my sister is a good cook. better than mama. sssshhhh. :)

after going to the market which took about an hour or so, we reached home at 11 am. pretty late, why? cause, being Hamidah Kassim, she'll just turn here and there and keeps forgetting things that she should really buy. and i failed pushing that bakul beroda of hers. i think only noi and mama have the skills. bahhhhhh. mama blamed me for not following her to market on weekends. -.- and i thought its not easy for me to get off on weekends? sheesh.

breakfast done, all started. mama only helped me in cutting the chicken cause i swear to GOD, if i were to cut the chicken, it would turned out nasty and i'm gonna get scolding from her. have not yet learned the skills from the seniors. hehs. while waiting, i cut the ingredients which needed me to cut. haha. after 'soaking' my chicken with the seasoning, i started with the soup first. again, mama helped me by telling which i should put first. gradually, i did everything on my own. but her mouth keeps yacking here and there until i need to say this line a few times, "mama nie! masak asik nak kelam kabut je. macam mana nak sedap. pasal tu orang suka masak dengan noi!" hahaha. and she claimed that i work so slow. chehhhh!

soups done. next, the chicken baby! ohh yeahh, i told mama this, "dahh mama gi masok. orang nak masak sendiri, jangan nak sebok kat sini." hahaha. and she went in. i don't know, i just feel excited whenever it comes to cooking. hahaha. i love to cook but i don't have the proper time to learn much since my schedule always jumble up. followed the recipe from the book given by sham carefully. haha. semangat ok.

and walla, everything's done! ouhh, mama helps to taste it first before turning off the stove, just to ensure everything's ok. heee.

next up; i wanna cook fish. maybe in 5 months time? HAHA. too bad, i'm down with flu, can't really taste my cooking. sometimes i just find myself weird, i cook, but i never eat. haha. ehh but chicken, of course laaaa, demam tinggi pun aku makan. faberit food babe! hahaha.

and watching Marah Marah Sayang just simply put a smile on my face. awwww! sweeeeet sangat ceritanya. :)

speechless ;

2008-11-23T01:20:00.010+08:00

it seems that everything have changed. i don't know.

from telling how i felt, to asking a single question could just make someone whom i'm close with flare up. i don't know where i went wrong. i just don't know. and i know, i've never say anything like that before cause i always try not to hurt the feeling of someone i'm close with. if i did, prolly it was ages ago cause i don't remember any at all. or if i did now, i might not realise it.

i think i should just keep myself quiet. prolly, that's the best to keep everything normal.

if i'm someone who never think about others, i think you should've know me on how i work myself.

if i'm too sensitive, i apologised.

if i'm at fault, i'm sorry.

till here.

friendship ;

2008-11-19T21:53:00.003+08:00

brian informed me that someone look for me over at work today :)

& after putting aside what i should be saving and paying, i'm left with only a few bucks to spent. bahhhh. i'm down with money issue. but still can survive, i hope so. lol. the least, i getta save half of the amount that i've decided to put in. :)

thanks bestfriends for the dinner over at McD. a remedy indeed meeting you both.

sidetrack ;
how about batam? yeahh baby!

sick ;

2008-11-17T16:10:00.003+08:00

i'm kind of pissed off with the schedule cause it have always been me doing the opening. sigh. i don't mind actually, really. infact i enjoyed doing opening cause time passed pretty fast. but i'm tired. even sleeping early doesn't help much. now, i'm suffering this headache which kind of irritate me. my head just feel heavy. and guess what? i'm doing opening again tomorrow. and pretty much sure again, for thursday and friday. give me a break man! -.-

on the fun note ;
yesterday was totally awesome. i could just feel the bond within the cousins are getting stronger back. i admit, since we grew up, not 'playing' together like during those years, the bond was just so-so. but now, it gets stronger when the cousin starts working in the same place as me, i can just sense that we can relate towards everything. great! and yesterday was awesomely fun eventhough its a farewell bid for the aunt and uncle to perform Hajj. hehs. we talk nonsense the whole frigging day. not to mention the whole stretch of delicious food and deserts. especially that ayam masak merah and brownie. oh my God, i don't know what gets in to me cause i've been craving for brownies this few days. haa, prolly because i'm fasting(?) so, i'm craving for LOTS of food. trust me, i'm getting fatter, especially that cheeck area. i wanna go liposuction. tsk.

ohh guess what? some people just have the cheeck to add me up in friendster after much harm they've done in my life. like, OH MY GOD(?) why bother to add me when you can't be bothered to accept the request, by which i've used a friend account to add you up? so you can see how miserable my life right now? FAT HOPE! EAT SHIT AND DIE OKAY? i won't let you bitch0s know about my life anymore. i don't care whether or not its your fault cause you've still messed up my life. you get what you want and now mind your own fucking business alright? i think you've messed up my life terribly, so i guess you know what to do aye?

MOVE FCUKIN' BITCH! *wide fucking smile to you!*

and work was so and extremely annoying. customers are just waaaaayyyy too much. waaaaaayyy tooo much. i don't know which idiotic moron create the saying 'Customers always right' * both middle-fingers up for that idiot* they simply don't understand the meaning of PATIENCE eahk? they fcuking think that we're only fcuking serving them, and not other customers. she thinks that me and tuty was just simply dancing, talking and playing around eahk(?) when actually we are fcuking serving the other customers.

idiot bitch: are you doing my salad? do you need to take so long to do it?
me: i'm doing your salad, ma'am.
(& i don't fcuking hear what she bitch about the service with her friend)
me: (passing her salad)
idiotic bitch: do you need 2 hours just to prepare a salad?
me: no. (turn and walk away)

i seriously think she suffer from some kind of pathetic disease cause she don't even fcuking know how to differentiate 10/15 minutes to 2 bloody hours. what the fcuk? if she were to complain about me, i can't even be bothered laa okay? if jenny or su ching gonna scold me upside down also I CAN'T BE FCUKING BOTHERED. cause it's not my bloody fault. she simply can't wait and can't even tell the right time cause she's a fcuking idiot! bahhhxx. i swear i'll remember her bloody face man!

*breathing in and out*

i need a massage. out.

date ;

2008-11-15T20:04:00.002+08:00

someone asked me out on a date. bahhhhhhhhhhh! i shan't reveal who he is. but nahhh, i don't think so cause i'm just not ready to go for a date or what so ever. if i were to go out with a guy, prolly with someone that i knew and i'm comfortable with. or maybe on the day i'm really and truly ready for it. macam understand. but whatever it is, i actually miss going on a date. especially with him. bleahhss.

anyway, work was extremely tiring. i don't know till when i'm gonna stuck selling coffees every week. seriously, i'm tired. but to think back, its better off i'm working this way cause its less stressful and its way far much better cause you'll be moving around, so somehow its like exercising too. hehs. only that, the amount paid is somehow lesser than those sitting at the aircon room or so. i'm finding for a 2nd job. any vacancy? hehs. i need bucks, honey. i've got LOTS in my mind, only insufficient time and money. yada-yada i know, you guys might think why on earth i'm not free 24 hours. actually i am free only that i make myself not free. hehehe. mentel. hehs

i can't wait for tomorrow kenduri. aunty & uncle going to perform Haj early december. great. i wanna go there one day too. insyaallah when i'm really ready and when i have the bucks. -.- hope they gonna have a safe journey.

psp, why on earth are you too expensive? bahhhh.